Mad Malibu Summer!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 20 up! Complete! The West Coast Misfits have one insane summer! RR Please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Early Morning Madness!

Mad Malibu Summer!

**Hey there, true believers, as Stan "The Man" Lee would say! L1701E here, with a brand new summer story for you starring the American West Coast's premiere mutant team, the West Coast Misfits! It's madcap mayhem under the ****Malibu**** sun, complete with fights, flirting, action, adventure, and laughs ahoy! Enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics and Sunbow Entertainment, except any I created or were given to me by others. Thank you!**

It's Profile Time Again! *Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.* Our latest edition takes another look at one of the most popular of the Malibu Joe team, everyone's favorite prank-pulling pilot, the ever-jolly Jester!

Jester

Real Name: Jerry Mahoney

Affiliation: US Air Force

Rank: Lieutenant

Primary Military Specialty: Fixed-Wing Pilot, Single and Multiple Engine Aircraft

Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence, Morale Upkeep

Birthplace: Las Vegas, Nevada

Bio: Showmanship is in the blood in Jester's case. His father is the famous stand-up comedy legend/stunt pilot Andrew Mahoney, nicknamed the "Ace of Comedy Clubs", and Tandy Mahoney, a showgirl. 

As a child, Jester grew up in airfields and knew the legends of comedy from Sam Kinison to Adam Sandler. From this mixed up-bringing, Jester learned how to be an ace pilot and to be a master of jokes, quips, and pranks. His father suggested he follow in his comedy footsteps due to his talent, but Jester wanted a job that was more guaranteed, so he joined the Air Force.

In the Air Force, Jester earned his nickname because of his tendency to crack jokes in mid-flight, and his constantly pranking his fellow squadron members. He was sent to GI Joe not just because of his piloting skills, but also because his commanders were tired of being constantly caught by Jester's pranks!In GI Joe training, he became the protégé of the Joe known as Ace. When he got into the Joes, Jester was sent to Malibu Base, where he would entertain his fellow Malibu Joes with stand-up comedy acts and his pranks.

In the Malibu Joe team, Jester quickly befriended machine gunners Rock 'n' Roll and Gunbarrel, the slightly goofy explosives fanatic Firestorm, and the martial artist Quick-Kick. His mortal enemy on the base is third-in-command Hardcase, who is a constant target of pranks. Also, Jester developed a crush on the Malibu Joe communications officer Dial-Up, but she often refuses his attempts at flirting. During the battle of Cobra-La, Dial-Up revealed she was slightly attracted to Jester when he was captured by Cobra-La forces.

Chapter 1: Early Morning Madness!

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(A road leading to Malibu, 5 AM)

Early morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and bathe the road with light. Right now it was mostly dark, with some glow of blue and violet. The sky was turning from slid black to a deep dark blue. A lone vehicle raced down the road. It was a six-wheeled black-and-white futuristic Winnebago with a spoiler in the rear. The vehicle was known as the California Cruiser, the official transport of the West Coast Misfits, the American West Coast's premier team of teenage mutants. Right now, five of the 13 kids that made up the team were driving. And they had a passenger.

"Man, I can't believe we pulled it off!" A 16-year-old African-American mutant laughed. His body was sleek, his hair was in cornrows, and he was clad in a throwback Lakers jersey, a backwards black baseball cap, yellow wristbands, and black jean shorts, as well as black Converse shoes. His name was Terrell Mason, a Compton native codenamed Velocity for his superhuman speed and ability to manipulate air and wind. He was driving. 

"The Thunderbolt says, that was the best idea ever Terrell!" A Boston-accented voice said from the passenger seat. The passenger was a 13-year-old boy with semi-long wild brown hair and blue eyes, clad in a Rock t-shirt and blue jeans. His name was Kyle Wildfire, a Boston native codenamed Thunderbolt for his mutant powers to generate and control electricity.

"Shh, dudes! We might wake the passenger up!" An 18-year-old with long blond hair, mirrored shades, and clad in a pink-and-green Hawaiian shirt with a black Malibu shirt with blue jean shorts shushed with the typical California surfer bum accent. His name was Jack McCormick, codenamed Beast King for his mutant ability to transform into any animal. 

"You do realize we're going to get into big trouble for this." Another teenage boy said with semi-long blond hair. He was clad in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. His hands only had _three_ fingers each! His name was Longshot, a genetically-created warrior who had hollow bones, superhuman agility, the power to alter luck in his favor, and a mean skill with daggers.

"Relax, man!" A 15-year-old Hispanic boy laughed. He was clad in a white t-shirt with a black sleeveless leather jacket over it and jeans. His real name was Julio Richter, but he went by the alias Randy Gomez, a Mexican boy codenamed Rictor for his ability to generate low-frequency sonic waves from his hands, which he could use to increase the damage of his punches, or cause earthquakes. 

"Shh, dudes!" Jack snapped. "You'll wake her up!" 

"Relax, Jack. She'll be out for_ hours_ thanks to the tranquilizer dart!" Randy grinned, pointing at a dart on the passenger's neck. The passenger was a woman who was put in a burlap sack up to her neck. Her short blonde hair revealed her to be Emma Frost, the mentor of the Hellions, a team of teenage mutants trained to use their powers to serve the Hellfire Club. Kyle was familiar with them, as he had taken them all on and beat them easily twice. He smirked.

"Dumb Jabroni. Never noticed us until it was too late." Kyle grinned. 

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" Emma snoozed peacefully. 

"We're here!" Terrell snickered. The five West Coast Misfits emerged from the California Cruiser. Longshot and Jack, as a gorilla, carried the knocked-out Emma Frost. The five constantly shushed each other and told Longshot and Jack to be careful. 

"Okay, man! String her up!" The five arrived at a flagpole. It was a flagpole right behind the "Welcome to Malibu" sign. Kyle attached a hook on the flagpole rope to a hole in the burlap sack Emma was in. Beast King then pulled her up to the top and tied the rope. A snoozing Emma hung on top like a flag.

"Emma Frost, we salute you." Kyle joked. The five boys gave her a mock salute. 

"Okay, let's go now!" Terrell ordered. The five boys then raced back into the car and drove into town. 

"Man dudes, that Frosty chick is going to be _so_ totally mad when she wakes up." Jack laughed. 

"Here's hoping she thinks those Hellion clowns did it." Longshot snickered.

"Let's go home and go to bed. The others are going to wonder where we are." Randy yawned.

"The Thunderbolt says that it's about freakin' time that little jabroni Emma Frost paid for screwing with the Wildfire family!" Kyle nodded. "I can only hope that when she wakes up, she realizes that the Wildfires are paying her back!" 

"Easy Kyle, you animal!" Jack grinned.

Well, what a way to kick off a summer in Malibu, huh? What other pranks will the West Coast Misfits pull? How will Emma Frost react to her situation when she wakes up? What other madness will happen? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. One Weird Morning!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Red Witch: COME BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

To Raliena: I have some idea who you're talking about, but I need more info on them. I have heard of those 5 sisters, I can imagine Thunderbolt seeing them standing on the beach and basically getting creeped out. I know one of them is dead and one joined Magneto in the comics, but I need more info. 

To Metal Dragon1: Ah yes, I may feature Nightside. I don't even have an idea for a plot for this story, so we'll see. I should have quite a few pranks on Hardcase in.

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams and claps. Some hold up signs. This time, we look at the biggest laughingstock of the entire Malibu Joe team, Hardcase!!!

Hardcase

Real Name: James Harris

Affiliation: Army

Rank: Captain

Primary Military Specialty: Infantry

Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence

Birthplace: Indianapolis, Indiana

Bio: Hardcase is a third-generation military man. Growing up in Indianapolis, Hardcase lived in a strict household with his father, who also was a huge racing fan. He was taught to be appreciative of the military. 

Upon the earliest legal age, Hardcase signed up for the Army, like his father and grandfather before him. He quickly became a highly-commended top-class graduate of both Ranger and Airborne School, as well as made the Green Berets. He also was the first soldier to ever turn down an invitation to join the GI Joe team. He claimed the team was too insane to ever be a real, fully-functional military unit. Offended, Lady Jaye of the Joe team challenged Hardcase to a footrace. If Hardcase lost, he had to join. Hardcase lost and was sent to the Malibu Joe team.

His patience is often pushed to the limit by the antics of his fellow Malibu Joes, especially because he is the endless target of pranks by the Malibu Joe prankster codenamed Jester. He is also the third-in-command of Malibu Base, but he's rarely taken seriously outside of battle.

He also has a stuffed tiger named Sgt. Stripes. **_NOBODY_** touches Sgt. Stripes without Hardcase's permission.

Chapter 2: One Weird Morning!

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(Malibu Base, 7 AM)

"_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Velocity, Beast King, Rictor, Thunderbolt, and Longshot all sat at the breakfast table, laughing their butts off. 

"Man, I can't believe we pulled it off!" Longshot burst out laughing. 

"Yeah! We, five members of the West Coast Misfits, actually managed to combination ride/teleport to the Hell House, knock out and kidnap their leader, Emma Frost, tie her up and put her in a burlap sack, then put her on top of the flagpole behind the 'Welcome to Malibu' sign!" Terrell laughed.

"Well, they deserved it." Jack smirked. "Those bogus dudes made fun of my cousin. They deserved it." 

"Ahh, you should've let the Thunderbolt slap her around a little bit first. She's probably used to it." Kyle joked. 

"Man, we are the _best!_ I wish I could see the looks on the faces of the Hellions and Emma when they wake up!" Randy snickered.

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(The entrance to Malibu)

"HELP ME!!!!" Emma Frost screamed. "SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!!! WHOEVER DID THIS IS GOING TO GET IT, BIG TIME!!! And how in the world did I end up in California?" Two cops walked up, one carrying a flag that was intended to be put up. 

"Hey Mitch, lookit that! A blonde chick on the flagpole!" Cop #1 chuckled.

"Ed, you obviously haven't lived here long. This is California! Blonde chicks are everywhere! They're practically _grown on farms!_" Cop #2, Mitch, laughed.

"GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!!!" Emma screamed at the cops. 

"Now that's not very nice." Ed crossed his arms. 

"Yeah, say the magic word." Mitch laughed. Emma blinked in disbelief. **These** guys were members of Malibu's finest?

"_Please_ get me down from here." Emma growled through gritted teeth. She was very close to unleashing her mental powers on these two cops. They shrugged and tried to get her down, but the rope stuck and they started arguing. "Oh, you're kidding right?! How can you two mess up something as simple as getting me down from a flagpole!?!" Her Boston accent flared with her anger. "**_WILL YOU TWO MORONS GET ME DOWN FROM HERE ALREADY?!?!?!?!_**" The cops stopped.

"Forget it, lady! You're a jerk!" Mitch grumbled. "C'mon, Ed! Let's get some breakfast." 

"Hey, I recognized that accent! She's a Boston girl." Ed chuckled as the cops went to their car. 

"Hey! Wait! I'll give you money! Hey! HEY!!!!" Emma screamed as the cops pulled out. "HEY!!!!" 

"Hey lady, the Red Sox suck!" Ed laughed as the cops drove off. Emma's jaw dropped. There was one rule that Ed forgot when you deal with Boston natives: Never, ever, ever, _ever, **ever, **_insult the Red Sox around a Boston native, sports fan or not. She got really mad.

"**_YOU MOTHER$&#%#!!!!_****_ GET BACK HERE, GET ME DOWN, AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU CLOWNS!!!!! YOU JERKS!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!_**" Emma screamed at the top of her lungs. She then sighed. "It's Tuesday. On Tuesdays, I have pancakes right now. I want pancakes." Emma whimpered.

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(Malibu Base)

Theresa Rourke went down the stairs and into the kitchen of West Coast Misfit Manor. The leader of the West Coast Misfits' blond hair was messy, and she looked like an 80s rocker with it. She was clad in green pajamas. She noticed Terrell, Randy, Kyle, Jack, and Longshot laughing at the table. 

"Coffee…" She mumbled, putting on the coffeemaker. The Irish girl just stood, staring at the coffeemaker and mumbling. "Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…"

"Hey Theresa, you gotta hear what we did last night!" Terrell grinned, waving. He forgot that Siryn should _never_ be spoken to before she got her morning coffee. She turned around slowly, giving Terrell the mother of all death glares.

"Oops. Bye!" Terrell tried to escape, but Siryn nailed him with her sonic scream, knocking him into a wall. "Owww…" He whimpered as he slid to the floor. Theresa slowly turned around and went back to staring at her coffeemaker, mumbling the word "Coffee" over and over. 

"Sheesh, Terrell." Kyle chuckled. "Don't you remember? No talky-talky to Terry-Berry until she gets mer morning coffee-woffee." He said to Velocity in a little-kid voice. 

"Coffee…" 

"Let's go into the next room. She creeps me out when she's like this." Longshot said. The four boys left the room, leaving a dazed Velocity and a mumbling Siryn. 

"Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…" 

Well, this is one interesting morning! What madness will happen next? Will Emma ever get taken down? How will the Hellions react? Will Siryn's mood brighten? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Cheer Up, Theresa!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Firefly25: Nice to hear from you! Glad you liked my story! I still have that e-mail address. I don't know how Emma will get out of that mess, or who she'll blame for it. I can imagine some fun situations with Tomax and Xamot as well. As for now, I don't really have a plot for this story. I have no idea what to do, and I sure as heck am not doing it like those cheesy 60s beach movies!

To Red Witch: I have no idea where I came up with the Emma Frost and pancakes bit. Hunt for coffee, huh? Well, I had something different in mind… Oh yeah, love the new stories! Glad to see you back! Glad you liked the Emma Frost up the flagpole bit!

To Raliena: Glad you liked it! The Hellions may make an appearance soon. I'll see what I can do for Kelly Torture.

To Wizard1: Where is the fifth chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party"?! You promised me that you would have it up a couple weeks ago!

To Aaron: Yeah, I thought that'd be a good start to the story. I really don't know what the heck is going on nor what I plan to do next.

To Metal Dragon1: Yeah, maybe they should've let the Thunderbolt slap Emma around a little bit. (Kyle: Yeah, her pimp does it all the time) Yeah, it would be a very funny brawl if Siryn and Draco fought over who gets the morning coffee first. Where's the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home"?! I want to see the big Kid Razor/New Mutants Team-Up!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, screams, claps, chants, and cheers. Some hold up signs This time, we take a look at a member of the East Coast Misfit team, everyone's favorite hexcaster, the Scarlet Witch!

Scarlet Witch

Real Name: Wanda Maximoff

Class: Mutant

Affiliation: Misfits (East Coast Team), formerly Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, has shown interest in joining Avengers

Powers: Wanda Maximoff is a mutant with a very unique power: She can alter probabilities by throwing blasts of chaos energy known as 'Hex-bolts'. She can't really control these probabilities at her current level, but it is believed that with further practice, she may be able to twist probability in her favor. It's believed her powers were altered by genetic manipulation done by her father Magneto.

Bio: Wanda is one daughter of the genetic terrorist Magneto (Maximoff is her mother's name, which is the only info available about the Maximoff twins' mother). She is one of a pair of fraternal twins, the other being Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff, gifted with superhuman speed. Her other family includes half-sister Rogue and half-brother Kurt "Nightcrawler" Wagner of the X-Men. As a child, her father did experiments on her, causing her hex powers to flare up and go crazy. At the age of seven, she was sent to an asylum, where she stayed for several years, occasionally being visited by Charles Xavier. Her powers made her the object of fear from doctors and guards.

Mystique released Wanda to join the Brotherhood, and her bitter, rage-filled personality caused her teammates to be afraid of her, especially Pietro, who was often the biggest target of abuse by Wanda. She also ended up, to her chagrin, being the object of the affections of teammate Todd "Toad" Tolensky. Whenever he tried to flirt, she blasted him with her hex-bolts.

She served with the Brotherhood, but eventually rebelled when she discovered Rogue was her half-sister and thought that Lance Alvers, the mutant codenamed Avalanche, was killed by Magneto. During a battle at Magneto's Asteroid M base, Wanda was knocked unconscious, and Pietro brought her to the arms of one of the GI Joes.

Wanda ended up in Joe care, and she became one of the original members of the Misfits. Wanda became calmer under Joe care, improved her relationship with Pietro. She also befriended Misfit leader Althea "Wavedancer" Delgado, who in a stroke of irony, was Toad's girlfriend! It's believed she has a crush on Craig Allman Starr, the Misfit codenamed Darkstar.

When the Misfits and the X-Men met the Avengers for the first time, she has shown interest in joining the superhero team at some point.

Chapter 3: Cheer up, Theresa!

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(West Coast Misfit Manor, Malibu Base)

"What do we do? We can't go in the kitchen. Siryn's in there, and no coffee." Longshot gulped. "I wanted to make pancakes." He and Rictor, Thunderbolt, and Beast King were standing in front of the kitchen, visibly worried. They were afraid to go in the kitchen because Theresa was in there, and the coffee wasn't ready yet. No coffee plus Theresa in the morning meant STAY AWAY FROM SIRYN IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEARING!!!! Ali Blaire, the lightengale **(A/N: What the heck is a lightengale? According to Wizard1, Dazzler was referred to as a lightengale in the 80s comics)** codenamed Dazzler, came down.

"I heard a scream. What's going on?"

"Siryn and the coffeemaker, Dazz." Kyle replied. Ali sighed.

"Well that's just great!" The Farrah-haired singer replied. Terrell walked out, holding his head.

"I think I'm deaf!"

"You'll be fine, dude." Jack smiled.

"Well, what'll we have for breakfast?" Ali wondered.

"Nothing yet. Not until Theresa gets her coffee." Randy replied. "You **know** how she is if she don't get her morning coffee." Ali peeked in. She saw Theresa stand in front of the coffeemaker, mumbling.

"Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…Coffee…" Theresa mumbled. Ali blinked and made a freaked-out face.

"Sheesh."

"_You gotta fight! For your right! To paaaaaaaaaaaaar-ty!"_ Ace Starr, codename Wildstar, entered the Manor. The rock 'n' roll-playing feral mutant held up several bags of what appeared to be McDonalds.

"Hey Ace. Out partying again?" Ali snickered.

"Yup." Ace grinned. "Man, Hardcase was mad. Not to mention pink."

"Pink?" Jack blinked, raising his mirrored Oakleys in confusion.

"**_AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!_****_ JESTER!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I'M %&$ PINK!!!! I LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN' STUFFED ANIMAL HERE!!!!!_**" A familiar voice roared.

"I guess Hardcase figured it out." Ace snickered. "I got breakfast for everyone!" Ace held up his McD's bags. Kicker and Tommy Sharpe, aka Chilljaw, came down the stairs.

"We heard screaming." Kicker said with a stern look. "Do you have any idea what time it is? And where have you been all night, Ace?"

"Out, Kicker." Ace grinned. "I went out to check out Malibu's night scene, plus I got breakfast!" Tommy looked at the bags.

"All that? That's not much of a breakfast. What'll you guys eat?" The shark-like teen scratched his head. The others shook their heads. Ace was a big eater himself, but the only West Coast Misfit that could really hope to take on the East Coast guys' Blob in an eating contest was Chilljaw. He could eat anything and eat for hours.

"It's for everyone, man." Ace walked to the kitchen.

"No way, dude." Jack stopped him. "Siryn and no coffee in there."

"She sent me into a _wall_, dawg!" Terrell exclaimed. Ace smiled.

"I got the perfect fix for that little problem." Ace chuckled. He put the bags on the table, then pulled out a cup of coffee from one of the bags. He carefully walked up to a mumbling Theresa. "Thereeeeesaaaaa…" The Irish girl turned slowly, death glare up. She was about to open her mouth and let loose her sonic wail when Ace quickly put the coffee cup in front of his face. "Cooooooooooffeeeeeeeeeeeeee…" Theresa's eyes widened.

"Coffee! Gimme!" Theresa grabbed the coffee and guzzled down the hot liquid like a desert wanderer who was just given water. She let out sigh of relief and smiled. She then blinked and shot puzzled looks at the disbelieving kids and Kicker.

"What?"

Well, that was weird! What'll the West Coast Misfits do next? What insanity will happen next? Will this story get a plot? Will anyone else need coffee? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Morning Plans!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Descendent: Glad you liked it! Here's more madness for you! BTW, What do you have planned in "Brotherhood Evolution" for Mike? "Omega Attack" is _my_ idea, but any hints on what Mike'll be up to during his time away from the one who created him?

To Raliena: I wouldn't know about that. I tried coffee once as a kid and I hated it. I've always been a tea drinker myself (Considering my Mom is English). Heh heh.

To Wizard1: Where are you, man? I want to see Chapter 5 of "Karaoke Dance Party"! You promised it'd be up an long time ago! WHEEEEEERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!

To Red Witch: Ah, I see. It was a giant bird joke. Well, hopefully coffee will get involved in the future. BTW, what do you have planned in the future? I'm just curious about that.

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, chants, screams, claps, and yells. Some hold up signs This time, we take another look at a Joe who looked like he would have never made the team in the first place, Grunt!

Grunt

Real Name: Robert W. Graves

Affiliation: Army

Rank: E-4

Primary Military Specialty: Infantry

Secondary Military Specialty: Small Arms Armorer, Artillery Coordinator

Birthplace: Columbus, Ohio

Bio: Grunt's codename comes from the nickname for regular infantry soldiers. Since Grunt was a regular soldier, odds were that he'd never be a part of the elite GI Joe team. However, Grunt was able to make the team despite his lack of an individualized talent. In fact, Grunt became one of the original 13 members of the Joe team.

Grunt is a graduate of Advanced Infantry Training School in the top ten of his class. Later, he retired from the Joes for a while to study at Georgia Tech. There, he got a degree in engineering. He returned to the Joe team, now more valuable than ever to the Joes.

Chapter 4: Morning Plans!

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(West Coast Misfit Manor Breakfast Table, Malibu Base)

The West Coast Misfits sat around the table, scarfing up breakfast. It looked like a bunch of animals scarfing food. Literally in Beast King's case. Jack turned his mouth into a hippopotamus maw and his arms into octopus tentacles, allowing him to grab and eat at a greater rate than normal. Kicker watched with disbelief.

_I'm beginning to think that this craziness is part of the X-Gene._ The blonde Malibu Joe blinked. A laughing Jester walked into the house.

"What did you do this time, Jester?" Kicker raised an eyebrow. Jester laughed.

"I rigged up a radio next to Hardcase's house." He pointed out the window. Kicker peeked in and saw that the radio was standing in front of Hardcase's house…rigged onto a pair of 40-foot-tall concert speakers.

"Oh no! That'll wake up half of California!"

"Relax." Jester grinned. He pressed a button on a remote. "I hope he likes Andrew W.K. Heh heh heh heh!" All was quiet for ten seconds, then suddenly, the house exploded when the speakers blared out the chorus to Andrew W.K.'s "Party Hard" played at full blast.

"**_Let's get the part goin'/Let's get the party goin'/Let's get the party goin'/Let's get the party goin'/Everybody party hard!_**"

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!_****_ JESTER!!!!!!!!_** **_I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!_**" Hardcase screamed outside. Kicker groaned and Jester laughed happily at the scene. She looked at the kids. "What do you plan to do today after training?"

"I got a gig." Ali smiled. "Jamie arranged it." Kicker blinked.

"You mean Jamie Madrox? That short kid in the funny suits? How can he be an agent? He's only 13!"

"So, Britney Spears was only 16 when she decided to start her streetwalking route." X23 quipped.

"Good one, X!" Jack and X high-fived. She then looked at Jack.

"You still aren't getting my food." X23 said. "Vegetarians."

"Hey!" Jack exclaimed. "Dude, I've totally _been_ most of those animals you like to eat, X! Besides, I've always been a vegetarian, man."

"If God did not want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them taste good." X replied simply, scarfing up more bacon.

"Oh don't start **that** again." Toshi grumbled.

"Tommy and I are going to the skate park. There's a big skateboarding event going on down there." Terrell said. The shark-like Tommy Sharpe grinned.

"Yeah, mate! It's going to be bloody awesome! The Birdman's gonna be there!" Tommy whooped.

"Tony Hawk? Huh." Kyle said. "Whatever."

"X, Theresa and I are going shopping!" Rahne grinned. X looked up from her plate.

"No. Aw heck no! No way! I don't like shopping!" X grumbled.

"All ye do all day is read!" Rahne groaned.

"I like to read and fight. No one else complains."

"They're just too afraid to." Rahne crossed her arms.

"Hey, who do you think the Thunderbolt is, jabroni! Dragonfly?!" Kyle exclaimed, offended. "The Thunderbolt isn't afraid of anything or anyone!"

"What about the time we went on that rollercoaster?" Longshot smirked. "You were screaming like a girl." The other kids burst out laughing.

"Hey! The Thunderbolt was acting! He happens to be a fantastic actor!" Kyle snapped. "Just be glad no one brought the jabroni coward Dragonfly with us. Her cowardly screaming would've brought the whole thing down!"

"Well, John, Toshi, Kyle, and I are going to hit the arcade." Longshot said. Thunderbird nodded. Toshi only let out an "Mm". Kyle whooped in agreement.

"I'll come." X23 said. "I'd rather hit the arcade than the stores. Besides, I want a piece of Tank Invaders. That game drives me nuts!" X23 growled. "I can't get past the 15th level! That game is laughing at me!" X angrily unsheathed her claws with a SNIKT and slashed through a plate. The other kids blinked.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…" John blinked.

"Jack, Randy, and I are going to hit the beach." Ace said. "You _can't_ live in California without hitting the beach!" He hooted and he and Randy high-fived. A knock was heard at the door. A laughing Jester opened the door, revealing an angry Dial-Up, clad in a pink robe, slippers, and her wet hair put in a towel. She had evidently heard the blast from the shower.

"Did anyone ever tell you that even first thing in the morning you're beautiful?" Jester grinned. He ended up getting kissed by a right hook from the Japanese Joe. "Ow." She stomped off.

"Way to work the charm, Jester." Kicker chuckled.

"I think a tooth fell out." He whimpered. An explosion was heard outside.

"**_FIRESTORM!!!!!!!!_****_ MY JEEP!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! BLOWED UP **REEEEEEEEALLLLL **GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hoo brother." Kicker sighed. "Why do I get the feeling this day is going to be one crazy day?"

Why do I get the feeling she's right? What madness will happen next? What happened to Emma Frost? Will Tommy get to meet Tony Hawk? Will Ace be chased by girls? Will X23 beat the game that's been bothering her? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. Encounters!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Red Witch: Another 100-chapter nightmare, huh? How do you do it? What I want to see is someone get blown to itty bitty pieces! And have Pyro get conked in the head and think he's Steve Irwin, and that Magneto's a huge crocodile! That'd be so funny to watch Magneto get caught in various traps. I know I suggested it before, but it's such a funny idea, and I'd love to see your take on it.

To Metal Dragon1: Yeah. I'm a big fan of the Teen Titans cartoon, and since I was partially inspired by Beast Boy to create Jack, I thought it'd be appropriate for him to be a vegetarian, too. And since X23 is a feral mutant, and her mutation is that like a wolverine, a predatory animal, that means that she has a natural affinity for meat. So I could imagine the two constantly arguing over their food choices. I suppose that one day, Jester's pranks may explode in his face. Whose jeep do you think Firestorm blew up?

To Wizard1: WHERE ARE YOU MAN?!?!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, claps, and chants. Some hold up signs This time, we take another look at everyone' favorite fish-man, Chilljaw!

Chilljaw

Class: Mutant

Real Name: Thomas Sharpe

Known Aliases: Formerly Shark Man

Place of Birth: Somewhere near the Great Barrier Reef, Australia

Nationality: Australian (1/4 Maori)

Powers: Tommy Sharpe's mutation adapted his body for swimming. His body is sleek, yet powerful. He has dual respiratory systems, standard lungs for breathing air, and gills for breathing in water. Unlike real sharks, the gills can move, so he doesn't necessarily need to. His body is also more resistant to heat, cold, and pressure than normal humans.

He also possesses great strength, able to lift up to 3 tons at his current level. His senses are enhanced, allowing him excellent night vision and the ability to identify people by the scent of their blood. His body is also very durable, allowing him high resistance to injury.

His most famous ability is his most mysterious. He has the ability to store water, where it's somehow cooled to a point beyond freezing, yet remaining in liquid state. He can spit this "ice water" at an opponent, freezing the target solid.

His mutation is also physical, giving him gray skin, gills, sharp front teeth capable of biting through chains (just like a real shark, if a tooth falls out or gets broken, another one pops right in!), and even a fin growing out of his upper back!

Bio: Born in Australia, Tommy is the son of renowned shark experts Garrett and Frieda Sharpe. They accepted Tommy's mutation, finding it funny that he looked like they animal they dedicated their lives to studying.

At the age of ten, Tommy came to America, where their parents accepted job offers at a Malibu marine institute. Tommy was accepted by other kids in the mutant-friendly California town. In Malibu, Tommy developed a love for skateboarding, becoming a local skateboarding hero, and he proved to have quite the appetite. He suddenly developed the chills at age 14, the result of the powers he would develop alongside his looks. He spat a stream of water at a plant that froze it on contact! He would later discover his other powers.

When he heard of the West Coast Misfits, he decided to join them. He met leader Theresa "Siryn" Rourke at Nick's Arcade, a local teen/college student hangout. Siryn decided to give him a shot.

When the West Coast Misfits faced the alien biker gang known as the Crushers, Tommy proved himself by single-handedly catching them by freezing them with his ice water. He was allowed on the team.

Recently, he changed his codename to Chilljaw.

Chapter 5: Encounters!

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(Malibu Skate Park)

A big skateboarding event was going down today. Some of the world's greatest skateboarders were there, performing tricks and signing autographs for the crowd.

"Oh wow! This is great, mate!" Tommy grinned. "This is so bloody awesome! See, Terrell? I told ya! She'll be apples!"

"What does apples have to do with it?" The African-American speedster scratched his head. Tommy sighed. Obviously, Terrell wasn't familiar with Australian lingo.

"'She'll be apples' is kind of our way of saying that things will be fine. Kinda like we say 'Telly' for TV, and we call a crazy place a 'Ripper'." Tommy explained. Terrell nodded.

"Okay, I got it." Terrell shrugged. He then noticed a couple pretty girls. "Ooh! Excuse me Sharky, but I gotta see if these ladies love to party." He grinned. "Oh, girls! Hey, girls!" Tommy smirked.

"Three…two…one." He counted. He then heard sounds of slaps. "Right on schedule." Terrell walked up to Tommy, rubbing his cheek.

"Not one word." He warned. Tommy grinned.

"Nice try, dude."

"At least I don't come from a country that was populated by almost nothing but felons!" Terrell grumbled.

"That's why chicks dig Australians, mate. We're born bad boys." Tommy retorted with a smirk. Terrell rolled his eyes.

"Right." Velocity groaned. "Hey, you notice that guy? He looks too fancy to be here." The speedster pointed to a muscular 17 year old boy as well as a dark-skinned boy clad in brand-name clothes. They appeared to be looking at the event with disgust. Tommy sniffed the air.

"Yeah. Their blood stinks of bloody Hellion." Tommy snarled. "It's that muscle-bound plonker Beef and that so-called human rocket Jetstream."

"Let's go see what they're up to. And maybe we'll whup them while we're at it." Terrell smirked. The two West Coast Misfits marched towards the two Hellions.

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(Malibu City Limits)

"Is anyone gonna get me down from here?" Emma Frost sighed. Yes folks, she still was strung up on the flagpole. A certain jeep, the Firerunner, pulled up near the pole. Firestorm and BR emerged, the Malibu Joe carrying a flag. He looked up and chuckled. "What's so funny?!"

"I knew blondes were everywhere in this state, but dude!" Firestorm burst out laughing. BR screeched in agreement. "Hey wait a minute, aren't you Emma Frost?"

"No, I'm Jenny McCarthy." Emma replied snidely. "Can you PLEASE get me down from here?! I went to bed last night and when I woke up, I found myself up here!" Firestorm chuckled.

"C'mon BR, let's get her down." Firestorm laughed. BR put the flag back and they opened up the trunk.

"Finally." Emma sighed. "Once I get down, I will _kill_ Bevatron and Beef! I know those two jokers are behind this!" She blinked when she heard beeping. She looked down and noticed that the bottom of the flagpole was lined with sticks of dynamite rigged with a remote detonator. "No! No way! There's a pulley right there!"

"This way's more fun!" Firestorm laughed. "Relax, Frosty the Snowlady! I'm a certified explosives expert."

"From where, Clown College?!" Emma hollered in fright. Firestorm arched an eyebrow.

"No wonder no one likes you. Fire in the hole!" Firestorm pressed a red button on a remote. The dynamite exploded, causing the flagpole to fall over.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OW!!!" Emma screamed as she came down and hit the ground face-down.

"Uh oh." Firestorm ran to the pole, lifted it up, and looked at a dazed Emma Frost.

"Mommy, can we have pancakes now?" Emma dizzily said. She had a dumb grin on her face.

"BR, I'm no doctor. You think she's fine?" Firestorm asked his Macaque partner. Blast Radius only shrugged. "Yeah, you're right." He dropped the pole, making Emma let out an 'OOF'. "Let's not tell Hardcase about this." They drove off quickly. "We gotta get Twinkies!"

"Pancakes…"

Well, looks like the day is going to get interesting now! What madness will happen next? What'll happen when Velocity and Chilljaw meet Beef and Jetstream? What are the others up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Shore is a lot of Insanity!

**Mad ****Malibu**** Summer!**

To Raliena: Glad you like the chapter! Yeah, sure! You can have pancakes too! Hands Raliena a huge stack of golden fluffy pancakes with syrup and butter.

To Firefly25: Yeah, Bevatron's gonna get it, alright.  Maybe you **should** write those as one-shots! I give you permission to use any of my characters! Actually, I think Jake would just plant Emma into the ground head-first!  Those are some great suggestions!

To Red Witch: Yeah, a little Emma torture is always good for a laugh. You should do something like that with Pyro. Here's more madness for you!

To Metal Dragon1: Probably. Do you think Terrell and Tommy could beat them? I think so. I'm glad you liked Firestorm's approach to getting ol' Frosty down.  Here's more madness for you! BTW, when's the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" coming up? I can't wait! I want to see Shawn's reaction to Slash's new look.

It's Profile Time again! Crowd hoots, hollers, claps, screams, chants, and shouts. Some carry signs This time, we go to the Vault and take another look at a West Coast Misfit who loves to dance, sing, and play, andhe can do all that at the speed of light: Velocity!

Velocity

Real Name: Terrell Andrew Mason

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast Team)

Hair: Black (in cornrows)

Eyes: Black

Birthplace: Compton, California

Powers: Terrell's mutation has adapted his body and his mind to operate at great speeds.

His legs are superhumanly strong for running, the main use of his powers. His brain can also process information at a greater speed than normal, allowing him to move at great speed without having to worry about accidents. His speed also gives him increased reflexes and reaction time.

Terrell can also psionically take control of particles of air and wind, allowing him to create wind-based phenomenon at will, like tornadoes. He can mentally determine the direction and speed that his wind current blow. His powers of speed at wind-control all may allow him to fly short distances.

His top speed is around 220 mph, causing him to have a bit of a friendly rivalry with his East Coast counterpart, Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff. The strongest winds he's been known to create can blow at speeds of 170 mph.

Bio: Terrell Mason grew up in the tough streets of Compton, California. His parents were ex-members of the infamous militant group known as the Black Panthers. As a result, Terrell was taught to be proud of his African ancestry, but he was also taught to be accepting of others.

His parents made sure that he stayed out of the gang violence and warfare that so many other kids his age in the area were getting into. He developed an interest in basketball by hanging out in the local basketball courts. He also developed a love for classic rhythm-and-blues and Motown, thanks to his parents playing it all the time. The one he admired most was James Brown, and Terrell often entertains dreams of being the next James Brown.

When he was walking down the street one day, he noticed a gang car bearing down on a little girl. He rushed to save her, activating his mutant power of superhuman speed. Utilizing it, he grabbed her and got her out of the way. The gang members inside fired at Terrell, and his aerokinetic abilities kicked in, creating a gust of wind that shoved the bullets away and safely into a wall.

When his parents heard about this, they realized their son was special, and that he should use his powers to become a positive role model. He made a costume and became the local hero known as Velocity. After he caught a drug pusher at the Starlight Club, Terrell met and befriended future teammate Alison Blaire, who performed as the Dazzler. Through Dazzler, Velocity would end up joining her, Sunfire, Thunderbird, Thunderbolt, and Wildstar in battle the bio-droid known as the Mimic.

After the Mimic was defeated, he became one of the original nine members of the West Coast Misfits. He still serves today, and his best friends on the team are the Boston native Thunderbolt, the Mexican sonic generator Rictor, and the Australian shark-kid known as Chilljaw.

Chapter 6: Shore is a lot of Insanity!

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(A beach in Malibu, California)

Ace Starr, Jack McCormick, and Randy Gomez, the West Coast Misfits codenamed Wildstar, Beast King, and Rictor, were walking down the beach. Jack, clad in his hot pink-and-ice blue Hawaiian shirt, matching swim trunks, and Oakleys, looked at the waves.

"Primo…" He grinned. "Dude, these waves scream hang ten!"

"Yeah…" Randy agreed. "Ace, what do you think?" Ace pushed down his blue shades, and smirked.

"Oh yeah…" Ace smirked. "Definitely rockin' waves."  Jack patted his surfboard.

"Dudes, let this pro teach you newbies how to surf!" Jack threw off his shirt and hit the waves.

"Yo, I'm going to hit the waves." Randy pointed to a shack where there were surfboards for rent. "Wanna come?" Ace shook his head.

"It takes a minute for me to mentally prepare." Ace replied. "I'm a feral with a cat-like mutation. It takes me a minute to get settled with water." Randy shrugged.

"Okay." Randy ran off. Ace walked alongside the waves and watched Jack surf.

"WHOOO!!!! YEAH, BABY!!!!! HANG TEN, DUDE!!!! _COWABUNGA!!!!! YEEE-HAH!!!!"_ He crowed. Ace smiled.

"That Jack. What a nut." He replied.

"Bonjour, mon amour." A familiar voice said. Ace picked up the whiff of a perfume, and he turned, revealing Marie-Anne Colbert, the French girl known as Tarot, clad in a red bikini.

"Ahhh, Bonjour, madame." Ace replied, bowing. Tarot giggled.

"Ace, you never told me you could speak French."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Red." Ace grinned. "What brings you here to Malibu?"

"You. And the fact our teacher is missing." Tarot replied.

"Ahh, how is Frosty the Snowgal?" Ace laughed.

"Let's just say she only throws _one_ vase at the wall at the mention of your name now." The French red-head replied. Ace laughed.

"Man, some people just can't learn to forgive and forget!" Ace chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. "To be perfectly honest Card-girl, I haven't seen hide nor hair of ol' Frosty since Red Dragon tried to spill her blood all over London a while back. Sorry." Ace shrugged. He saw sides of the Hellion girls that no one else did thanks to his feral charms. "What the--?" He noticed two streaks fly towards them from one side, kicking up sand. "Get down!" Ace threw down Tarot as the streaks went by. As they went, one could her cursing in Moroccan and another cursing in English.

"Ooh, Ace. You saved me." Tarot purred. "You are so magnificent as always." She tried to kiss him.

"Not now, Card-girl." Ace helped her up. "That was Velocity and Jetstream!"

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(At the Skate Park, some time earlier)

Beef and Jetstream were watching the skating event in a rather bored manner.

"Hey girls!" A familiar voice called. The two Hellions turned around and saw Velocity and Chilljaw. "What are you two monkeys doing here?" Velocity asked.

"Ignore them, Beef. They're just Army trash." Jetstream laughed. Chilljaw shook his head.

"Coming from you rich jerks, we think of it as a compliment, mate." The shark-kid laughed. "What are you up to?"

"If you **must** know, we're looking for our mentor." Beef grumbled. "She disappeared last night. I think you Misfits are behind it. If not you, then your little buddies in Florida."

"How do you know she didn't go out sleepwalking?" Tommy laughed.

"Because Bevatron found her under a flagpole mumbling about pancakes here in Malibu!" Beef roared. "She thought **_he_** put her up there and nearly choked him to death!"

"If ol' Bovine-Tron wasn't such a moron and strung her up there, he wouldn't have gotten his neck wrung!" Terrell smirked, not betraying any sign that he was the one who put her up there alongside his buddies.

"Bevatron was tied up to the roof last night!" Beef roared. "He insulted Ace in front of the girls."

"Yeah, Ace has that effect on women." Tommy chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Jetstream snapped.

"You mean besides your face?" Tommy smirked.

"That's it!" Beef threw a punch at Chilljaw, but the shark-like teenager easily ducked and nailed the big Hellion with a hard punch to the jaw. The two immediately started brawling. Jetstream tried to use his powers to ram Terrell, but the Compton native easily moved out of the way. Jetstream streaked away.

"Come back here, ya jerk!" Terrell raced after the Moroccan mutant, calling upon his great speed.

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(The beach, present time)

"Forget them, Ace. Let those two settle their differences. I want some alone time." Tarot smirked, pulling Ace towards a beach house.

"**_I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW YOU TRY THIS COLBERT!!!!!_**" The blonde Hellion known as Roulette, clad in a blue swimsuit, leapt out of nowhere and tackled Tarot. A catfight immediately ensued.

"Hey Ace, we heard WHOA DUDE!" Jack and Randy ran up to Ace. They blinked at the catfight.

"Alright, you two!" Ace separated them. He was the only one who could separate a catfight between the female Hellions unscathed.

"You stay _away_ from _my_ sexy feral, you French pastry!" Roulette roared.

"**Yours?!** Ha! Compared to a low-brow Atlantic City tramp like you, a classy French woman is much more preferable!"

"You're as classy as a cheap trick on Santa Monica Boulevard!"

"At least **I** am not from a place that's all glitz and no glamour!"

"At least **I** am not from a country known for surrendering, you coward!"

"**THAT'S _IT!!!!!!_**" Both girls roared, shoving Ace to the ground. "**LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!!!**" They started catfighting again.

"Uh girls, I'm okay."

Well, that was one long chapter! What madness will happen next? Will there be more catfights? Will Emma Frost get to a pancake house? Will there be any more WC Misfit/Hellion brawls? Will there be a new enemy on the horizon? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!       


	7. The Summer Day Shines On!

**Mad ****Malibu**** Summer!**

To Wizard1: How do Ace and Paul do it? It's a family secret, my friend. And think about who those two are related to. Freddy against Tommy in an eating contest? Man, that'd be a match for the ages! I'll see what I can do for Kelly torture. Here's more madness for you! Enjoy! When does Chapter 6 of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? Remember when I gave you that idea with Kurt, Amanda and the closet? Maybe you can expand it to Todd and Althea too. You know, Kurt and Todd confront Starchild together, but he thinks they have relationship problems. So he gives them advice. Kurt and Todd reluctantly do what Paul advises and Amanda and Althea drag their boyfriends into closets. Later, Kurt staggers on stage, completely disheveled, lipstick all over his face, and clothes in tatters, and sings Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On". Also, Todd staggers on stage in a similar condition and sings something by Barry White. How's that?

To Metal Dragon1: Actually, the West Coast Misfits have _two_ caretakers: Quick-Kick and Kicker. That's really technical, considering the rest of the team helps out. After all, it's not easy to care for a flock of superpowered teenagers of various ethnic and racial origins. By the way, when's the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" coming up?

To Raliena: Glad you liked the pancakes, and no, they've never been to Canada. However, I can imagine Athena and Logan going to Canada to do a little father-daughter bonding.

To Red Witch: Who'll Frost encounter? Wait and see.

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, claps, chants and screams. Some hold up signs. This time, we take another look at the X-Men's resident egomaniac, the self-proclaimed Foxfire!

Foxfire

Real Name: Jason Aloysius Fox (He's often just called "Fox")

Known Aliases: World's Sexiest Man, The Foxman

Allegiance: X-Men, former Hellion

Powers: Jason can phase his body out of sync with light, rendering him invisible. He can also fire flames from his hands.

Hair: Orange (Since birth, his hair was orange. He wears it in a ponytail with his bangs free. Thanks to his mutation, the hair in his ponytail has white tips, like a fox's tail)

Eyes: Brown

Birthplace: Detroit, Michigan

Bio: One can always tell Foxfire coming by his confident; some would say arrogant strut, his red Bret Hart-like shades, and his pride in his looks. He was born the son of Wendell Fox, the notorious owner of one of the world's largest luxury car company, Fox Motors, started by his grandfather. The elder Fox had a sharp mind for business, incredible cunning, and a confidence that bordered on arrogance. He also was a notorious womanizer and party-thrower. (No one knows about Fox's mother. Some say she died when Jason was very young or born, but the generally accepted story is that Jason's mother was a prostitute who dumped Fox in Wendell's arms and disappeared. The real story of Foxfire's mother is unclear) Wendell didn't mind his son's unusual hair color, but he often paid little attention to the boy. Shortly before Jason's powers emerged, Wendell was approached to join the world-dominating Hellfire Club, an organization composed of the elite. Wendell refused, a rarity, and his reasons were, according to Foxfire: "Not enough hot women. And there were some members that were Canadian" (No one knows why Wendell has such hatred for Canadians. Fox has that prejudice as well). As incentive, when Fox's mutant powers emerged, Emma Frost suggested Jason join her Hellions.

As a Hellion, Jason met the reluctant Jake Wildfire, third generation in a family of pro wrestlers. The two instantly clicked, as Jason was a wrestling fan all his life, particularly admiring Shawn Michaels. Even though Fox gave the outside impression of being a loudmouthed arrogant perverted jerk, he really had a good heart, as proven when he helped Jean Grey and Ace Starr free Jake from his dark side come to life, Draconis. Immediately, Fox gave the metaphorical middle finger to Emma Frost and joined the X-Men. Jake Wildfire eventually joined the East Coast Misfits unofficially as Red Dragon. The two maintain their friendship, despite the fact that Jake gets impatient sometimes with Fox's antics.

In the X-Men, Fox's ego, mouth, and apparent chauvinism have caused him to be at odds with almost all his team-mates, particularly Cyclops. In his mind, Fox felt he should lead the X-Men, and as a result, he tries to make life tough for Cyclops. He and East Coast Misfit Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff have a huge rivalry. It's actually a clash of egos between them.

Chapter 7: The Summer Day Shines On!

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(Dreadnok HQ)

"I can't believe Cobra wants us to do this!" Zartan grumbled. He was dressed up like a glam rocker, and carrying a pink Ibanez guitar.

"You want to take over the world?!" Virus snapped, working on a device that looked like a switchboard used to mix music. "This is the best way to do it! Through rock music!"

"Why are **you** helping us?" Zanya asked. "I don't see what this has to do with Toad." Zanya knew that normally Virus would _never_ help with anything unless the result resulted in the possible death of Toad.

"Zanya, you have such a small mind, it's unbelievable." The arrogant Dreadnok replied. "I rigged these instruments to not just give the illusions that these Dreadnoks can play well, but also the songs put out a sub-harmonic wave that hypnotizes. And I got a special sonic blast for Swamp Scum. It'll make his head explode! Then Althea and I will be together again…together…" Virus sighed happily. Zarana shook her head. She then shuddered.

"What's up, sis?" Zandar asked.

"Nothing." She replied. She noticed the gleam in Virus's eye at the mention of exploding Toad's head. It made her nervous. She remembered overhearing Golobulus saying something about Virus. _Now I understand what that guy said about Virus. He said he could see Virus performing great atrocities just to achieve his own ends. Reminds me of that comic book thing that Monkeywrench likes about that paranoid cyborg. In it, the cyborg destroyed an entire city just to get revenge on a superhero whom he believed ruined his life. Why is it for some reason I can imagine Virus doing something like that just out of contempt for Toad?_ **(A/N: What can I say? I can see a lot of similarities between Hank Henshaw/Cyborg Superman and Vincent James/Virus.)**

"And how will we get this band to play?" Zartan asked Virus with a laugh. Virus glared.

"I managed to…convince a guy to let Cold Slither play at the big charity concert they got going on today." Virus grumbled. "That bloody Farrah-wannabe Dazzler is performing there."

"You mean that disco queen? She's a weakling!" Zanya laughed. "All she can do with her powers is create pretty light effects! She won't be a challenge at all!"

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(Malibu Beach)

"Are you sure it's a good idea to bring them?" Jack asked Ace. Jack, Ace, and Randy were walking down the beach. Around Ace's arms were Tarot and Roulette.

"Relax, man." Randy said. "They won't do anything as long as Ace is around. It's crazy, what kind of power he has over women."

"What can I say. Family blessing, yet also a family curse." Ace chuckled. What Ace nor anyone else didn't know was that another girl was watching.

_How **dare** they!_ Monet St. Croix mentally screeched. _They think they can take **my** beloved Ace from me? Those two are going to get it!_ Monet eyed a poster. "Hmm…Teen Swimsuit Contest." On it, the poster said: "Winner gets $100 and a BIG FREAKIN' TROPHY!!" _That's it!_ Monet smirked. _I'll enter that contest! My gorgeous good looks will guarantee me a win! And when Ace sees me win, he'll be so impressed, he'll dump those two losers and he'll be mine and mine alone! Just the way it should be. Now how am I going to get him to see me there…_

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(A local pancake house)

After recovering from the trauma of the flagpole and wringing Bevatron's neck and throwing him into the back of a manure truck for bringing it, Emma Frost decided to visit the local pancake house. After all, it was Tuesday, and she always had pancakes on that day. Her enjoyment of the flat golden breakfast was interrupted by voices.

"Not _you_ again!" A man at the counter yelled at a very fat and somewhat repulsive-looking Scotsman.

"Ah want pancakes!" Fat Bastard said. Emma blinked at the whole thing.

Hoo boy! Something tells me that there's going to be a lot of insanity going down! What is Monet up to? Why is Cobra making the Dreadnoks pose as a heavy metal band? What more insanity will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. A Little Random Torture!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Metal Dragon1: Actually, Cold Slither is based off an old GI Joe episode. I was struggling to find a plot for this story. Yeah, I think Dazzler can beat Zanya, because Ali developed her forcefield power in "Armor Attack" and her ability to fire light lasers in "GI Joe: The Movie, Evo-tized". I would not be surprised if a beautiful female cop arrested Ace for that reason one of these days. I thought it'd be funny to bring Fat Bastard into the pancake house. Hope you like this! BTW, when does the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" come up?

To Firefly25: Yeah, Virus is getting very close to completely losing his marbles. What few he had. I have been juggling with plans to create a story in the future Misfitverse where Virus, as a psychotic cyborg, tries to destroy the planet to win Althea. I never **did** touch on the whole Zarana/Mainframe thing to be honest. I never had any ideas for that. Well, in the comics, the New Mutants and the Hellions did start out hating each other, but eventually, they did gain respect for each other, and often met for social events. I thought it'd be funny to do the same thing between the WC Misfits and the Hellions.

To Red Witch: Glad you liked the chapter! Heat hurts my brain. Read your new stuff and loved it! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

To Wizard1: When's the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" coming up? I can't wait!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, screams, claps, yells, and chants. Some hold up signs Okay, this time, we take a look at one of the most important members of the West Coast Misfit team, the team leader, Siryn!

Siryn

West Coast Misfit Leader

Real Name: Theresa Rourke

Nationality: Irish

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast Team)

Powers: A second-generation mutant, Theresa can use her voice to generate powerful sonic vibrations. She can use these sonic vibrations to produce a destructive wave of vibratory force or a simple high-pitched note to temporarily knock out opponents. In the dark, Theresa can use her sonic voice as a simple form of sonar. By riding waves of sonic energy, Theresa can glide/fly short distances (This talent works best when she's in costume, which has a cape to help catch the sonic vibrations). Theresa inherited her powers from her father.

Bio: Theresa was a second-generation mutant born in Northern Ireland to ex-Interpol agent Sean Cassidy, who is now known as the Banshee, and a woman named Maeve Rourke. However, Interpol mission made Banshee absent for most of Maeve's pregnancy and birth.

A terrorist attack killed Rourke when Siryn was only a baby, and she ended up being raised by her terrorist uncle, "Black Tom" Cassidy, who could generate blasts of concussive force through his cane. When her sonic powers emerged, Tom made her an accomplice in his criminal endeavors. Sean never knew of her existence, assuming she was killed with her mother. When Black Tom ended up jailed, he took all the responsibility for his actions, not wanting to involve Theresa. He also alerted Sean of her existence and sent her to live with him. Theresa ended up living with Sean and Moira MacTaggert. She became friends with Moira's adopted daughter, former X-Man and future West Coast Misfit Rahne Sinclair, codename Wolfsbane.

During a Christmas party at the Xavier Institute, Siryn met the X-Man and the Misfits, as well as future West Coast Misfit teammates Ace Starr/Wildstar, and Athena/X23. After an attack by the bio-droid known as the Mimic, Theresa became leader and one of the original members of the West Coast Misfits. As leader, Theresa's main duty is to make sure tempers don't flare, especially since three members are hotheads: The Japanese pyrokinetic Sunfire, the Boston-born electrokinetic Thunderbolt, and the Apache warrior Thunderbird.

Siryn serves as leader to this day, and the team has expanded to include Rictor, Chilljaw, Beast King, and Longshot.

Chapter 8: A Little Random Torture!

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(The local Malibu Pancake House)

Emma Frost happily ate her pancakes when she heard a car blaring bagpipe music at a deafening level was heard screeching into the parking lot and crashing into another car.

"MY CAR!!!" A person screamed.

"Ahh, ye shouldn't be parking there! That's mah space!" A loud Scottish-accented voice yelled. The source bust into the room: A very fat red-haired Scotsman. "Ah want pancakes!"

"Not _you_ again!" A man at the counter said. "We're **still** recovering from your last visit here, Fat Bastard!"

"Just shut up and get me mah usual order, you filthy dog!" Fat Bastard snapped. He noticed a blinking Emma and smirked.

"It's pretty obvious why that guy's mother named him Fat Bastard." Emma blinked at the counter guy.

"Yeah. He **is** one." The counter guy replied.

"Hey there, little filly. Do ya find me sexy?" Fat Bastard grinned at Emma. The telepath sneered in disgust.

"You're no Richard Gere, pal." Emma grumbled.

"Richard Gere can kiss mah big fat Scottish arse!" Fat Bastard replied. "He's not half the sexy man I am!"

"Actually, Richard Gere is a third of the man you are. You look like you had just swallowed three of him."

"You know ye want me, little filly." Fat Bastard grinned lecherously. Emma's face turned green.

"Excuse me." She fled to the bathroom. "I think I'm going to be sick. Ugh."

"Ahh, she's too taken by me intense sexiness." Fat Bastard grinned. The other patrons groaned in unison.

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(Downtown Malibu)

"Ahh…" Senator Robert Kelly smiled as he drove his red Porsche down the streets of Malibu, California. He noticed a girl walk down the street with orange hair. "HEY MUTANT!! YOU AIN'T WELCOME HERE!!!"

"YEAH I AM MORON!!! READ THE SIGN!!!" She pointed at a sign. It said: "Humans and mutants alike, welcome to Malibu! We hope you have a grand time! Enjoy our beaches!"

"I don't believe it." Kelly grumbled. "When I become president, I'm gonna make sure California is kicked out of the Union **(A/N: I think the dear senator has lost a state full of votes. A real shame, considering ****California**** is one of the most populous states in the ****Union****)**." He then noticed two girls walk into the mall. One was a blonde, clad in a yellow t-shirt with black shorts. The other was a shorter girl with red hair in two ponytails, clad in a green shoulder-less shirt and jeans. Accompanying them was an Asian woman. "Huh. I recognize the redhead. She's one of those Institute freaks. I wonder what she's doing here in Malibu?" A guy walked by, and unknown to Kelly, threw a banana peel on the road in front of Kelly. "Ahhh, I guess I'll follow them later." He continued on the road until his car went over the banana. "HEY!!! WHOA WHOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOOOOOOO_AAAAAHHHH!!!!_" The side of Kelly's car hit the back of a dump truck full of manure. People on the streets gasped and retched as the manure poured all over the senator.

"Is that Senator Kelly?" Theresa asked as she lowered her sunglasses, jaw dropped. Dial-Up chuckled.

"I always thought he was at home in manure." The Japanese Joe chuckled.

"C'mon, let's go in the mall! I want to see that new store!" Rahne said. The three entered the mall.

"Oh God, this is disgusting!" Kelly yelled, his car and himself covered in manure. Bevatron dug his head out and looked at Kelly.

"Are you my mother?" He asked, blinking like he was smacked silly. Kelly screamed.

"**MANURE!!!**** I _HATE_ MANURE!!!!**"

Well, looks like a couple characters get what they deserve! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to Theresa, Rahne, and Dial-Up at the mall? What'll happen to the other West Coast Misfits? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!          


	9. Out on the Town!

Mad Malibu Summer!

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel and Sunbow Entertainment. I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT ANY CHARACTERS I CREATED!!!!! **

To Wizard1: I'm glad you liked my idea of Paul helping Kurt! Yeah Cobra did, the episode was called "Cold Slither", I think. I'm also glad you liked the Back to the Future tribute. I thought it was neat to put in.

To Red Witch: Yeah, I thought it was an appropriate position for Kelly to be in, too. And you haven't been submitting as much lately. Is something up? Oh, and I have a suggestion for you: Have Althea hide in a corner, rocking back and forth, holding

To Aaron: Yeah, that scene just **_SCREAMED_** for another appearance by everyone's favorite fat disgusting Scotsman. I'm glad you liked the whole Back to the Future tribute. I was suffering from writer's block and still am a little bit. Yeah, all the usual insanity: Evil Character Bashing, Female Hellions chasing Ace, Cobra, the works! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

To Metal Dragon1: It's spelled M-A-S-S-A-C-H-U-S-E-T-T-S. Thanks for the e-mail!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, claps, cheers, chants, and screams. Some hold up signs. This time, we take another look at the Solar Samurai, Sunfire! **(A/N: As with the last time I did this for Sunfire, I altered his bio a little bit from the comics and added some imagination)**

Sunfire

Real Name: Toshiro Yashida

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast Team)

Powers: Toshiro Yashida's powers are flame-based. He has the power to generate intense heat and flames. He can encase himself in a field of flames. This field can be used to protect himself or allow him to fly. He can also throw flames at opponents. Toshiro may have the potential power of a thermonuclear bomb once his powers develop fully. Also, Toshiro is more resistant to the effects of heat and flame than a normal human.

Bio: Born in Japan, Toshiro Yashida may never have become a mutant if it weren't for World War II. The intense radiation of the atomic bombs being dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki caused mutations in some of the population, including Toshi's grandparents, who became dormant X-Gene carriers and who would later die of cancer decades later. The X-Gene passed on to Toshi's father Saburo, a diplomat, and it still remained dormant until it passed down to Toshi. As a child, Toshiro spent time with his great-uncle Tomo, a survivor of the bombs, and as a result, became fanatically anti-American. Tomo taught Toshiro to share his distrust of Americans, despite the fact that Saburo Yashida worked for peace and cooperation between America and Japan.

Tomo suspected Toshiro may have had superhuman powers when he noticed that Toshi didn't burn easily in a fire. He took Toshi to the site of the Hiroshima bombing, and had him touch some of the still-radioactive soil. When the soil touched Toshi's fingers, his mutant powers over flame emerged. Tomo helped Toshi train his powers and use them to become a hero for Japan as Sunfire (He secretly hoped to get Sunfire to America, where he can exact revenge on the Americans for the atomic bombings in WWII). Toshi became Japan's National Hero as Sunfire, where he's idolized by Japanese kids and even is on merchandise!

Toshi's coldness towards foreigners was warmed when Ace Starr visited Japan on a trip to find some fun after leaving the Hellions as an undercover agent for SHIELD. Tomo secretly built a robotic ninja, and used it as a villain for his grand-nephew to fight. Despite Sunfire's hateful attitude towards the American rocker feral, Wildstar gladly helped Sunfire and Toshi was convinced when Ace saved a woman from being crushed to death by rubble. When Ace discovered the creator, Sunfire was confused. When Saburo found out about Tomo's plans for his mutant son, he confronted Tomo. In front of Sunfire and Wildstar, Saburo was fatally shot by Tomo, and an enraged Sunfire incinerated his grand-uncle. Wildstar managed to convince Sunfire that it was okay to be proud of being Japanese while understanding other nations. Due to his honor, Sunfire owed Ace a favor.

Later on, Toshi would repay the favor. Ace used it to recruit him to face off the bio-droid known as the Mimic, alongside Dazzler, Velocity, Thunderbolt, and Thunderbird. Teaming up with Siryn, Wolfsbane, and X23, the mutants defeated the Mimic. An idea formed that the group should stay together, and the West Coast Misfits were formed. Sunfire initially refused to join, but Ace used his honor again to get him to join.

Sunfire has a hot temper and a lot of pride, and he constantly gets into arguments with fellow teammate Thunderbolt. They cannot agree on anything! Sunfire has remained loyal to the team and stayed on since, despite recently considering leaving the team.

Note: It's believed that Sunfire has a twin sister with powers like his own, but Toshi or Ace have yet to confirm it.

Chapter 9: Out on the Town!

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(Malibu Mall)

"Ooh, lookit this one!" Rahne squealed with delight. She, Theresa, and Dial-Up were undergoing a very important mission: Find the best outfits.

"I like this shirt." Theresa laughed as she held up a black t-shirt. On it in blue letters was "Yeah, I have a big mouth! And I'm proud of it, too!"

"Hey, look at this." Dial-Up held up a pair of green slacks. Theresa and Rahne looked at the green slacks. Down the sides of the slacks in green-and-silver letters was the word "Siryn" The back pockets were decorated like the Irish flag. Theresa chuckled.

"Man, that Jamie. The man's a promotion machine."

"How old is he again?" Dial-Up blinked.

"13." Rahne replied. Dial-Up shook her head in disbelief. Only in America would you find a 13-year-old powerhouse agent.

"Let's go try some of this stuff on." Theresa held up some clothes. Dial-Up shrugged. She wasn't much of a shopper. She came along to watch over Rahne and Theresa. The two mutants and Joe went over to the changing rooms when they heard a voice.

"Stupid $#&%$ dress…" The voice growled.

"What in the world?" Rahne wondered as she approached the doors. A dress fell to the floor in front of the changing room.

"Hey, that's mine!" A dark-skinned hand grabbed the dress.

"Hey, I only wanted to see it!" Rahne snapped.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"**MINE!**"

"**_MINE!!!_**" The arm grabbed the dress, ripping it in half as Rahne fell on her butt. An angry Monet St. Croix stormed out. "You ripped it, you stupid Scot!"

"Monet, what are you doing here?!" Theresa snarled.

"If you _must_ know…" Monet flipped her long dark hair arrogantly. "I'm trying on clothes. It is a free country, after all." Dial-Up raised an eyebrow.

"Let me guess, you're out to impress Ace."

"Well, I personally cannot believe I have to compete with three other girls for someone whose heart is clearly mine, but that's the way it goes, I guess." Monet sighed. She grabbed another outfit and went back into the dressing room with a grumble. "Why do those other girls chase after my man…"

"That was…weird." Rahne said as she got up.

"C'mon. As long as Ace is ruling her mind, she won't cause trouble." Dial-Up said. "I also heard my niece Michiko has a thing for him." _Yup, that's the Starr family for you. Women want them, men want to be them._

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(Nick's Arcade)

"You gonna lose, Jabroni! No one can beat the Thunderbolt in wrestling games!" Kyle grinned. He and Toshiro were playing an old wrestling game from the mid-90s. Kyle was Shawn Michaels, and Toshiro was playing as the Undertaker.

"Not when I get you with my Tombstone Piledriver!" Toshiro replied back. "No!"

"Kick out! I am the master! IF YA SMELLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOOOOWWW!!!! WHAT THE THUNDERBOLT…IS COOKIN'!!!" Meanwhile, Longshot, X23, Thunderbird, and a Hawaiian Joe with short black hair codenamed Torpedo were watching.

"How long will those two continue this?" Torpedo asked.

"Until one punches the other out. They always settle arguments like this." John shrugged. "However, it usually leads to more arguments." He then noticed Kyle and Toshi in a yelling match. "See?"

"Ho brother." Longshot sighed. "Hey, who's that?" He pointed at a figure in gray fatigues hiding behind a window.

"That's Firefly! He's one of Cobra's goons." Torpedo said.

"He must be desperate to visit the hospital if he's watching us." X23 snarled, fighting the urge to unsheathe her claws.

"Let's go." Torpedo waved.

"What about Kyle and Toshi?" John asked. Torpedo watched them argue.

"They'll be fine. Let's go." Torpedo replied. The Joe and the mutants left.

Well, things are heating up now! What madness will happen next? What is Firefly up to? Does Ace's heart really belong to Monet? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	10. New Friends!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Wizard1: Yeah, Firefly is tailing the West Coast Misfits. Yeah, he works for Cobra. Wanna see him get his butt kicked.  I would not be surporised if Monet's idea to impress Ace doesn't work either. That would be funny to see Fat Bastard run into Dial-Up.

To Red Witch: What kind of projects? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me please!

It's Profile Time Again! [Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, claps, and yells. Some hold up signs.] This time, we take a look at a member of the East Coast Misfit Team, the mysterious Xi!

Xi

Real Name: N/A

Class: Artificial Mutant

Powers: Xi can with a touch, "read" genetic code. In a mutant's case, he can use this talent to identify a mutant's powers as well as their potential and any damage, like the damage in Lance Alvers's DNA. He can also make himself invisible by causing his body's cells to become light-transparent. His mutantcy also affects his physical appearance, making him look like a half-man, half-snake.

Bio: The mutant known as Xi has quite a history. He was a creation of Cobra, designated 'Number 11' because he was the eleventh member of his unit. Created to be the perfect assassin, Xi is silent and deadly on the job. He and the rest of his unit rebelled against Cobra, but the other creations were massacred in the process. Not much is known about Xi's activities afterward.

When Roadblock was captured by Cobra during a camping trip, Xi teamed up with Toad to rescue him. Xi ended up staying with the Joes, where he got named, and ended up being one of the original members of the Misfits.

Through the Misfits, Xi is learning the ways of humans and he is one of the younger members of the team. He is still a little naïve on the ways of humans but as a Misfit, he's one of the best.

Note: Xi can be mentally attacked by exploiting his fear of electrical discharge.

Chapter 10: New Friends!

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(In a dressing room)

"Wow. It was so nice meeting you guys." Alison Blaire said to four other teenagers. They were all sitting and lying around on couches.

"No problem, Ali." A girl with short blonde hair, cut just below the shoulders, replied. She was clad in a blue Whitesnake shirt and black leather jacket, as well as black leather pants with a studded belt with leopard-print high-heel boots. On her head was a black fedora with a big feather. The hats were trademark of Mandy Randall, the guitarist of the Ballroom Blitzers. She was strumming a red guitar in a manner that was like practicing.

"Yeah." An African-American girl chuckled. "You're not bad for a disco queen." The girl's name was Michael "Micky" Alexander, the Ballroom Blitzers' drummer. Her long dark hair was curled, and streaked with red and gold. She was clad in a tight sleeveless black t-shirt, blue gloves on her hands to prevent blistering, several silver bracelets on each arm, and a pair of green shorts. Her golden nose ring gleamed, as well as her earring of a spike.

"Everybody always calls me 'disco queen'." Ali pouted.

"She does have a point." A boy said, standing at a mirror, applying some makeup on his face. His name was Eddie Ulrich, the Ballroom Blitzers' keyboard player. He was clad in clothes like a 70s glam rocker: A gold lame t-shirt, silver jacket with red-and-gold flame running up and down the sleeves, and silver pants with the same flames. He also had silver platform high-heeled boots, like the members of Kiss wore. He had painted silver, red, and gold flames around his eyes and cheeks. "You wear the legendary Farrah hairdo and you like dance music. Not to mention sing it."

"This coming from a guy who wants to be the next Ziggy Stardust." Ali shot Eddie a humorous look.

"What?" He blinked. "David Bowie rules!"

"Dudes, the water fountain bubbled." A surfer bum-like voice said. A boy who looked like an Asian-American version of Alex Summers sat cross-legged in front of the fountain. He was clad in a sleeveless white t-shirt with a pink Hawaiian shirt over it, covered in palm trees. He also had jean shorts and yellow wristbands, and his feet were bare. Randy Chang was his name, and playing bass for the Blitzers was his game. "Awesome…Dude…"

"Don't mind Randy." Micky chuckled. "The man may be the best bass player this side of Nikki Sixx, but he's actually not the sharpest tool in the shed." Ali blinked at the sight.

"No kidding." She sighed. "Anyway, did you get a look at those guys in the makeup and leather?"

"Yeah. They called themselves Cold Slither." Mandy groaned. "Bunch of wannabes. As soon as Ace gets here, we'll show those snake guys how to rock!"

"Yeah. That British clown can't touch **me** on drums." Micky smirked, twirling her drumsticks.

"And I highly doubt they can match me when it comes to my keyboarding." Eddie chuckled.

"They'll be too busy laughing at your face to worry about your playing, Ed!" Mandy laughed.

"I dunno. Those Cold Slither guys give me the creeps." Ali shook her head. "Something about them is not quite right. I also hope Eddie didn't take all the blue makeup. I need that."

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(Streets of Malibu)

"Where'd he go?" Torpedo grumbled as he rounded a corner, Longshot, X, and John behind him. X snarled and unsheathed her claws with a SNIKT!!

"Virus…" She snarled. "I knew I smelled psychosis and motor oil."

"Ha ha." Virus grumbled sarcastically. He sauntered into sight with a smirk. "Ah, the West Coast Misfits. My inferiors. I wish I could say that I'm glad to see you, but I'm not. I'm not a fan of lesser life forms."

"What do you want, Virus?" Torpedo growled. Virus smirked.

"To rid the world of all those who like Toad." Virus laughed. Three robots walked up to the heroes. They looked like plain grey robots, no special features. "I created these based on the technology used in the Mimic." Virus laughed. "They can maintain a form as long as they wish, and at any distance, but unfortunately, they can only perform one mimic at a time." One robot's body turned sleek and black, and an eight-pointed star with a sash appeared on its chest. It also grew blond hair like Longshot's.

"No way!" Longshot exclaimed. The second robot grew in height and muscle as well as semi-long raven black hair, as well as its body turning blue, imitating the costume of Thunderbird.

"Oh that's cute." John spat venomously with a scowl. The third's body changed in size and in color until it looked like X23 in her tan-and-yellow Wolverine-like costume, complete with her ponytail popping out from behind the mask.

"_Oh now you have **got** to be kidding!_" X23 roared.

"Meet my copy-bots. They'll deal with you West Coast Clowns!" Virus laughed. Out of nowhere, Firefly tackled Torpedo. The fight was on.

Hoo boy! Looks like things are getting heated up now? What other insanity will happen next? Can the three mutants beat their fake counterparts? What is Virus up to now? Why is Ali concerned about Cold Slither? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	11. Random Malibu Madness!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Wizard1: Yeah, I guess these Cobra guys never learn. And you do have to admire Virus's persistence. He just won't quit until it works, no matter how predictable it is. BTW, when does Chapter 6 of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? I want to see it!

To Red Witch: I can't wait for your new projects. I also hope you get new chapters of "Sleepover of Doom" up quick! Let me guess, you're featuring Howard the Duck, right? In the comics, he teamed up with Spider-Man and the She-Hulk, and I want to do a Howard the Duck/Kid Razor team-up sometime.

To Metal Dragon1: The Ballroom Blitzers were mentioned in "Christmas Chaos". They're the band that Ace sings and plays guitar for. They do original songs and covers. Hmm…Firestorm Twinkies equals chaos. I'll see what I can do. When does the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" come up? I want to read it! PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!

It's Profile Time again! [Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs.] This time, we look at that a Joe who is home in the water: Torpedo!

Torpedo

Real Name: Edward W. Leialoha

Affiliation: Navy

Rank: Chief Warrant Officer

Primary Military Specialty: Navy SEAL

Secondary Military Specialty: Demolitions

Birthplace: Aiea, Hawaii

Bio: Torpedo grew up in Hawaii, learning to surf at an early age and earned a black belt in three martial arts (Wu-Shu, Kenpo, Go-Ju-Ryu) by the age of 19. Before joining the Navy, he worked as a scuba instructor and was a skilled diver. When he joined the Navy, he underwent SEAL and demolitions training.

He holds the honor of being the first Navy man to be a part of the GI Joe team, now assigned as a Malibu Joe. The two members of the West Coast Misfits he has bonded with are the Australian half-man half-shark known as Chilljaw and the Malibu native known as Beast King.

He is regarded as a highly competent professional, and is a strict vegetarian.

Chapter 11: Random Malibu Madness!

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(The Beach of Malibu)

"Check it out! The Malibu Summer Fair!" Rictor said to Beast King. They were looking at a poster hung up on a palm tree.

"Yeah, dude." Jack replied. He read the poster. "Dude, this has got it all! Eating contests, a swimsuit contest…"

"Sweet, man!"

"…And musical performances? Hey, Ali's on this list! And so is Ace's band! Awesome!" Jack grinned. "I can't wait to see that!"

"Cold Slither. Huh." Rictor blinked. "I've never heard of these guys, and I know the music around here."

"Maybe they're from LA." Jack shrugged. He looked at Ace. "Look at him, man." Ace was sunbathing nearby. Marie-Anne, the Hellion known as Tarot, was rubbing lotion on the guitar-playing feral's back, and Jenny Stavros, aka Roulette, was fanning him with a huge leaf. "He's gotta teach me how to do that, man!"

"I think he was born with it." Rictor laughed. "Anyway, we gotta find Tommy and Terrell! They'll love this stuff! Tommy and that big moron Beef could settle their differences in the eating contest."

"Yeah, we'd get one up on those Hellions!" Jack grinned. "Tommy can out-eat anybody! Last time we went to a restaurant, Hardcase made the mistake of trying to grab some fries near Tommy, and ol' Fish-face nearly ate his hand! It was so funny!" Jack laughed hard. "Let's go check it out, dude."

"What about Ace and those girls?" Rictor wondered.

"They're fine. I'll turn into a total horse, and you get on." Jack said. He turned into a horse, and Rictor jumped on his back.

"Hi-o Silver! AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rictor laughed as Jack galloped into town. On the way to the skate park, they passed by the mall, and they noticed a paddy wagon. A bunch of cops were carting a screaming M and Catseye into the wagon. Evidently they met up and got into another argument about Ace.

"I'd hate to be in their shoes when Emma Frost finds out about this." Rictor chuckled. Jack neighed in agreement. "C'mon, let's find the guys."

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(Nearby Nick's Arcade)

"This is getting bloody boring." Virus grumbled as he watched the fight. He was seething. How could a group of organic beings match up against robots, which are obviously superior in his mind? Virus, among his other mental problems, had a massive ego, and it was bruised when his creations were matched.

"Ha!" Longshot pitched a dagger at his robotic doppelganger, nicking its arm. "You may be as agile as me pal, but you lack style! I'm a born entertainer, baby!"

"You are strong, but you lack the might of the Apache!" John roared as he pitched his duplicate into the air. "You faced a man, metal one! Remember that!"

"Whoa! OOF!!" X23 grunted as she hit the wall.

"Athena, you alright?!" Torpedo asked as he punched out Firefly.

"Yeah, he only made me mad." X23 smirked. "And baby, this Wolverine clone just _loves_ to get mad." She lunged at her robotic doppelganger, knocking it to John, who smashed it with his powerful fists.

"Virus's robots are tough, but they lack spirit."

"That, and any _real_ fighting skill." X23 quipped.

"Hey guys, a little help here?!" Longshot snapped as he grappled with his robot duplicate. John sighed, grabbed the fake Longshot, and smashed it against the wall. "Thanks."

"You want something done right, you do it yourself." Virus grumbled, pulling out a couple small metal orbs from his belt. He threw them at the four, and the orbs exploded, covering them in odd plastic-like bubbles. "These will hold you. My newest inventions. These plastic bubbles can even handle your claws, you savage animal." Virus sneered at X23.

"Be glad I'm in this bubble, you pathetic psychotic little nerd." X23 snarled. "Now once I deal with those other Misfit clowns, Cold Slither can use their music to control all of Malibu! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Okay, I think Virus needs to say hello to the nice men in white. What madness will happen next? Will Monet and Sharon go to jail? Will Ace have to bail them out? Will Cold Slither be able to control Malibu? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	12. Rescue!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Red Witch: Yeah, a Kid Razor/Howard the Duck team-up would be pretty funny if you think about it. Read the new chapter of "Sleepover of Doom". Weird, but cool. I hope you find room for my drunk Scottish Beast idea. That'd be so funny to see Beast run around in a kilt chasing around Englishmen. And I think Monet and Sharon are definitely hitting jail. Here's more for you! Enjoy! I also can't wait to see your new projects. I'd do more one-shots, but I have no ideas for them!

To Raliena: Uh, where are your friends anyway…**(****Sees them outside window)** Can you come pick 'em up? They're starting to freak me out. **(Yells at window)** Hey! Leave my dad's car alone! No you can't have his tires! And skill definitely is no match for spirit (Thunderbird: Heck yeah!)

To Wizard1: Hey Wizard, when does the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? I want to read it!

To Metal Dragon1: Dude, where are you? Oh, and when does the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" come up?

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, chants, screams, chants and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we take another look at one of the Joe caretakers, Recondo!

Recondo

Real Name: Daniel M. LeClaire

Affiliation: Army

Rank: E-4

Primary Military Specialty: Infantry, Jungle Survival/Warfare Specialist

Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence, Misfit Handler (Starr Brothers, Lila Cheney)

Birthplace: Wheaton, Wisconsin

Bio: As a result of his upbringing in the cold of Wisconsin, Recondo despises cold weather and grew to desire working in warmer climates. This led him to an interest in rainforests and jungles, especially those near the Equator. He grew to become a Cadre member of the Jungle Warfare Training Center.

Recondo feels at home in the hot steamy jungles. A theory has been pitched that Recondo is a mutant with a soothing power over jungle life, but it was disproven when a genetic scan revealed he had no X-Gene.

However, the X-Gene would become part of his life. Alongside Cover Girl and Lady Jaye, in the urban jungles of LA, the three Joes held save a group of local mutants from experimentation by Dr. Mindbender. Among them were two mutant identical twin brothers named Paul and Craig Starr. After the rescue, Recondo offered to take the brothers in, as he learned they were orphans. The brothers agreed, and are now known as Starchild and Darkstar. They've taken to Recondo as a father, and they have taken to Lady Jaye and Cover Girl as surrogate mothers.

When Lila Cheney joined the East Coast Misfit team, she also came under Recondo's care. Recondo has said that he has no idea how to deal with a daughter, but Lila is a bit of a tomboy, so it made things a little easier for him.

Chapter 12: Rescue!

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(Nick's Arcade)

"You dumb jabroni! Randy Orton is the weak link in Evolution!" Kyle snapped at Toshi as the two mutants left the arcade. "All you have to do is convince the man that Evolution is holding him back, and his ego takes over. It's not too hard to convince him of this."

"Dave Batista is the weak link, Kyle." Toshiro replied. "He's great in power, but it's obvious he is the least intelligent of the members of Evolution. He requires someone to tell him who to destroy. It's like stealing the keys for your neighbor's car. Just convince him you can guide him, and he will turn. He is a monkey who requires a grinder. Orton is a little more independent."

"Yeah, but it's easier to get Orton frustrated at Evolution because he's got a psychological weakness that's easy to exploit: His tremendous ego." Kyle explained. "All you got to do is play with HEY!!!" Kyle saw the others and Virus.

"Kyle! Toshi! Help!" Longshot exclaimed.

"Oh brother." Virus grumbled. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!" Virus screeched as Sunfire hit him in the kisser with a solar fireball.

"I will deal with the Virus! You take care of freeing the others!" Toshiro ordered to Kyle. Thunderbolt nodded.

"Hang on, Miss Thing." Kyle created a chainsaw out of electricity **(A/N: Kyle's powers are kind of based on the powers of the DC Comics superhero Green Lantern. In the DC comics, Green Lantern could mentally fire energy from his ring and form it into objects. Kyle can do the same thing with electricity, except his body generates it.)**.

"Watch where you point that thing!" X23 warned.

"Oh relax, if I accidentally nick you, you'll heal up." Kyle groaned.

"But if I nick _you_, will _you_ heal up?" Athena smirked. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Oh shut up and stand back." Kyle took the chainsaw to the bubble.

"Time to reveal my newest invention!" Virus smirked as he dodged more of Toshiro's fireballs. He whistled.

"What?" Toshiro asked. He looked up and saw what appeared to be a futuristic metal backpack with four black Dr. Octopus-esque tentacles that were covered in small spikes on the outside and suckers like real octopus tentacles in the inside on the roof of the arcade. A robotic eye also peeked out. "Oh, as you Americans say, you have **got** to be kidding me AAGH!!!" The backpack leapt down and wrapped its arms around Toshiro's body in an attempt to crush him. The Solar Samurai leapt around, screaming in his native tongue. An amused Virus laughed as Toshiro set himself ablaze with his solar fire in an attempt to burn or melt the invention off.

"Thanks for the distraction, you nerdy jabroni. You're so smart, here's a riddle for you: What did the Thunderbolt's hand say to Virus's face?" Kyle grinned as he freed the others.

"I dunno AAAGH!!!" Kyle slapped Virus hard with a big electrical hand.

"SLAP, that's what! Yeah, I'm Rick James, #%$#!" Kyle laughed as Virus flew off.

"Hang on, Fireball." X23 unsheathed her claws and slashed away at the backpack binding Toshi. The tentacles got sliced in half because their steel structure could not handle X23's indestructible adamantium claws. The backpack sprouted jet engines and wings and flew off.

"Hey guys, I just realized something! Virus said something about Cold Slither." Torpedo realized.

"Yeah, in the flyer for the Malibu Fair today, one of the bands performing besides Dazzler and the Ballroom Blitzers are Cold Slither!" John exclaimed.

"Oh my God! That means if Virus is involved, the Dreadnoks are playing rock group!" X23 snarled.

"If that's true, I fear for the city of Malibu." Toshiro said.

"We can take out the Dreadnoks! No problem!" John grinned.

"We've got to find the others and warn them!" Longshot exclaimed.

"Let's go then, jabronies!" Kyle snapped.

Well, looks like Cobra's plans may flub up after all! What insanity is going to happen next? Will the other West Coast Misfits be alerted in time? What role will the Hellions play in this whole thing? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	13. Searching and Snooping!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Metal Dragon1: I can hardly wait for the new chapter, man! Hurry! Well, they're arguing about which of the members of a wrestling faction known as Evolution is more likely to turn their back on the group. Virus's new toy was inspired by Gear's. I figured that Virus, not being much of a physical fighter, would use a backpack-like device carrying various gadgets and surprises.

To Red Witch: Glad you'll put in a Scottish Beast! That'd be so funny to see your version of one of the staples of the fics. I hope we get to see those projects of yours soon! I can't wait! Oh let me guess, you're doing a version of an X-Men storyline, right?

To Aaron: Yeah, Sunfire and Thunderbolt do work well together in fights, despite the fact they rarely see eye-to-eye outside of battle. Yeah, an argument between them, Leatherneck, and Wet Suit would be something to see. I dunno about the guys crashing. It would really get under Dazzler's skin, as she loves to sing, and if she finds out Cold Slither's going to ruin a performance of hers, they'll get lasers where the sun don't shine.

To Wizard1: When does the next chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party' come up! I can't wait to see it!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, screams, yells, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we take a look at a Joe whose gone to the dogs: Mutt!

Mutt

Real Name: Stanley R. Perlmutter

Affiliation: Army

Rank: Specialist

Primary Military Specialty: K-9 Officer

Secondary Military Specialty: Infantry

Birthplace: Iselin, New Jersey

Bio: Mutt is a natural for animal handling. He loves animals and they like him. Only one major problem with that: He relates to animals better than he relates to people! The animal he relates to most is his dog and partner, Junkyard. Mutt raised Junkyard from a puppy and they always serve together.

Mutt and Junkyard work so well together that they _think_ as one. Mutt doesn't need to use audio or visual signals to command Junkyard. It was surmised that he had an X-Gene that granted a mutant telepathic ability over animals, similar to the mutant Joes Bulldog and Lionheart, but a genetic scan revealed he doesn't have one.

Mutt is a graduate of Jungle Warfare Training School and is attached to the Security and Enforcement Committee and Special Ops School (As cadre).

Chapter 13: Searching and Snooping!

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(The beach of Malibu)

Ace Starr, the West Coast Misfit codenamed Wildstar, rode the waves on his blue surfboard, with a portrait of legendary Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley on it. After a little while, Ace was mentally prepared for the water. Ace was a mutant with a cat-like mutation. As a result, Ace always was a little apprehensive around large bodies of water. It was at its worst on oceans. Near bathtubs, it was practically nonexistent.

"WHOOOOOOO!!!!!" Ace started humming the famous song "Wipeout" by the Surfaris. "Whoa AAAGH!!!" Ace wiped out. "Ugh…This feral rocker is **not** surfboard-compatible." Ace shook himself to help dry off as he walked out of the surf and onto the beach. "Man, how does Wipe-Out and Jack do it? Speaking of Jack, where'd he go? And where's Rictor?" Ace groaned. Tarot and Roulette went to browse at a shack. "I can't believe those guys! Aw well, I can always sniff 'em out." Ace chuckled.

"Ace!" Torpedo, Longshot, John, X, Kyle, and Toshiro raced up to him.

"Hey guys. How was the arcade?" Ace asked.

"Virus attacked!" X23 exclaimed. "And that means his Dreadnok buddies are not far behind."

"We need to get the others!" Torpedo said.

"I don't know where Terrell and Tommy went the heck to. I heard a brawl broke out in the skate park but not much else. I can sniff out Jack, though. His scent changes slightly when he assumes a different form, but it's still his." Ace said. "He and Randy disappeared too! And I gotta meet the other Blitzers to rehearse for the fair!"

"Okay Ace, you go practice. X23, you got good senses, right?" Torpedo asked.

"Are you kidding? You know who my old man is?" X23 gave him a "you're-kidding" look.

"If I see the girls or anybody, I'll call!" Ace yelled as he ran off. "Good luck finding and stopping the Dreadnoks!"

"Yeah, sure." Longshot sighed. "Now what?"

"Well, I am a good tracker." John shrugged. "Let me try to find them."

"This way." X pointed. "Jack's scent changes and becomes more horselike, but it's still him."

"Ace _did_ say Jack's scent changes slightly when he assumes the form of an animal." Longshot shrugged.

"And according to Wipe-Out, he smells funny as an ocelot." Kyle quipped. He burst out laughing at his own joke. "Ow!" Toshi smacked him upside the head.

"Baka." Toshiro Yashida grumbled.

"Jabroni." Kyle grumbled back.

"Egomaniac."

"Circus clown."

"Moron."

"Simpleton."

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(Backstage, Malibu Fair's stage)

Ali Blaire, the West Coat Misfit codenamed Dazzler for her mutant power to convert ambient sound to light, flattened herself against a wall next to the door of Cold Slither's dressing room. She was clad in her West Coast Misfit uniform, which also doubled as a set of performing clothes: A white jumpsuit with a gold chain, disco ball earrings, silver wristbands, and special "disco ball" platform boots (Her platforms could be removed quickly and easily if she got into trouble, converting them into regular boots). She had painted around her eyes in blue shapes, the same she wore when she first battled the Mimic. The costume was modified by the Malibu Joes to store ambient sound so she could use it as a source of noise for her light tricks if she needed to.

_Good thing I told the Blitzers to stay back in the locker room. After all, I _am_ a ninja in training, as Toad would say, hee hee._ Ali mused to herself with a slight giggle. _Man, those Cold Slither guys give me the creeps. I mean, I _know_ heavy metal musicians are supposed to do that, but these guys give me an _unusual_ amount of the heebie-jeebies. _

"Will you stop complaining, Zandar?" Zartan snapped as Dazzler peeked in.

"I don't know how to play bass!" Zandar whined.

"I don't know how to play bloody second guitar, but you don't see me complain!" Zarana snapped. "That's what Virus's soundboard does."

"Let me get this straight." Buzzer said behind a set of neon blue drums. "Virus's soundboard makes us sound real good?"

"Once our microphones and the speakers are hooked to it, we could pluck scales and it'd come out 'Back in Black'!" Zartan replied, holding his red Ibanez. "All Virus has to do is work the dials, and we're all set."

"Speaking of Virus, where is the psychotic little plonker?" Buzzer asked.

"Who knows. He has his stupid projects." Zarana replied. "You know him. If it isn't his latest 'Die Toad' bit, it's some other stupid thing. That boy seriously needs to get himself some help."

"You know Virus, at the mention of the words 'psychological help', he goes nuts and insists he's not a nutball."

_Oh no!_ Ali mentally exclaimed. _The Dreadnoks! Those guys are the Dreadnoks! No wonder they gave me the creeps! And if they're here posing as a rock group, that means they are up to no good! Hmm, I wonder why they're faking this performance…_

"I hope this works." Zartan grumbled. "I can imagine how pleased Cobra will be with this device Virus built. They'll pay through the nose for it!" He smiled and started singing. "_We're in the money, We're in the money…_"

"Yeah, and they'll get hypnotized soldiers, ready to do our bidding." Zarana laughed. _I always wanted to be waited on hand and foot…_

_I'll finally get some &%$#& respect…_Zandar smiled wistfully. _And finally, people will recognize me and I'll be famous…_

_Well, I'll be a regular in a roller rink._ Ali blinked. _They're going to create zombie soldiers! And they'll be using music to do it! I'd better warn the Blitzers, then get the heck out of here and warn the others! _

Looks like the Dreadnoks have been exposed! What insanity will happen next? Can Ali warn the Blitzers and the other West Coast Misfits in time? Will Malibu become Cobra-controlled? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	14. Even More Malibu Madness!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Red Witch: Yeah, and it only gets crazier because I have a special guest lined up! I hope you don't do a version of the Trucial Abysmia storyline in the Joe comics. That was a very bloody storyline. Many Joes died during that war, including Breaker, one of the original 13 members of the Joe team. Also, all but one member of Battle Force 2000 died there, as well.

To Wizard1: Well, Ali Blaire will always be a dance singer at heart, no matter what else she also does with her life. Ace just has a natural apprehension around water. It's part of his mutation, no fault of his own. He can swim, he just needs a few moments to prepare himself mentally. He doesn't get that feeling in a bathtub. I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party"! Please put it up!

To Metal Dragon1: Well, Kid Razor's busy doing his own thing. And of course the Ballroom Blitzers will use their music to save the day! That idea of the Malibu Joe band sounds funny! BTW, Please put up the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home"! I can hardly wait to see Shawn and Rick beat up Magnet-Man and hopefully, Kid Razor and the New Mutants vs. the Hellions sometime soon!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs. Now, we take another look at a West Coast Misfit who wants to be a star on the stage! She fights evil, and she can sing too! Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Dazzler!

Dazzler

Real Name: Alison Blaire (Often just called Ali)

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast Team)

Powers: Ali can basically convert sound into light. Strangely, she cannot use her own voice as a sound source. She can use the light she creates for various effects, like creating blinding flashes of light or harmless strobe effects. During the rescue of now-teammate Rictor from Virus in Mexico, Ali discovered she can also create protective light fields around herself and others. It's believed that with further development, according to East Coast Misfit member known only as Xi, Ali may be able to create destructive light blasts and even generate holograms. During the battle in Cobra-La, Ali's powers grew again, allowing her to create powerful light lasers.

Ali's costume was modified by the Malibu Joes to store ambient sound so she always has a source of fuel for her light powers.

Bio: As a kid, Ali Blaire never expected to be a mutant, much less a member of the American West Coast's premiere super-team. Born in New York, but raised in LA, little Ali dreamed of stardom as a singer, particularly in dance music. The daughter of lawyer Carter Blaire and his ex-actress wife Katherine, Ali was originally hoped to pursue law. At a high school dance, her powers emerged during a performance, but they were thought of as an ingenious light show.

At some point, Ali met and befriended future East Coast Misfit Lila Cheney, but the circumstances of that are unknown. It is known that the two argue constantly over musical preferences (Ace once said: "Those two are so different. Ali likes ABBA, Lila prefers AC/DC").

As a teen, Ali was a regular performer at the Starlight Club, a teen hangout in LA. The owner knew of Ali's mutantcy, but didn't care, because her powers allowed her to create a great show. It was here she got the name "Dazzler". However, the Starlight was in trouble, due to debts piling up. The owner was pressured to sell the club to a developer who wanted to mow the Starlight down and build a lot over it. Ali was infuriated by this.

Her beloved stage would be saved with the help of future teammate Ace Starr, codename Wildstar, who returned to his native LA after a visit to Japan (The same visit he met Sunfire). Ace heard about the Starlight crisis, and agreed to help Ali raise the money needed to save the club. Despite Ali's drawing power and the rock 'n' roll of Ace and his band, The Ballroom Blitzers, they didn't raise quite enough. Until a mysterious benefactor gave over 1 million dollars, which was more than enough. The Starlight Club was saved, and there was more than enough for renovations as well!

The Starlight Club saved, Ali said if Ace needed anything, he should let her know. After this, she met and befriended future teammate Terrell Mason, codenamed Velocity for his superhuman speed, and aerokinetic abilities (The power to manipulate air). Ace called on Ali and Terrell to help him, the X-Men, the Misfits, and the Avengers fight the bio-droid known as the Mimic with the help of Thunderbird, Thunderbolt, and Sunfire. Together with Siryn, former New Mutant Wolfsbane, and the Wolverine clone known only as X23, the new mutants defeated the Mimic, and the West Coast Misfits were born. The name originally came from the fact that three of the kids were California natives!

Ali serves with the team today, through their battles with the Surf Master (She played a pivotal role in his defeat, despite the fact she felt useless at the time because of her powers), Magneto, the Dreadnoks, the Crushers, and the ancient reptilian civilization known as Cobra-La.

Note: Ali's fascination with the 70s has caused her to wear her blonde hair like Farrah Fawcett, an object of jokes. Ali takes it all in stride. She still sings, performing at the Starlight, and singing for the Malibu Joes at talent shows.

Chapter 14: Even More Malibu Madness!

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(Malibu beach)

A portal opened up in the middle of the beach. Emerging from the portal was a 14-year-old girl with long blonde hair, clad in a red-and-white swimsuit, and a belt with a scabbard that held an odd sword. Accompanying her was a large purple demon clad in black swim trunks, sunglasses, a sun visor, and carrying a bag full of standard beach stuff.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" S'ym asked Illyana.

"Of course." Illyana chuckled. "This Malibu is an excellent place to go on vacation."

"Good thing I brought suntan." S'ym sighed.

"Just unfurl the blanket." Illyana grumbled. S'ym unfurled two blankets, then put up an umbrella. The Mistress of limbo laid back on her blanket and let herself get a tan.

"Ahh…" The big demon laid back and pulled out his novel. "I've never gotten a chance to finish this book."

"Is it another Danielle Steel?" Illyana laughed. S'ym blushed.

"For your information mistress, it's Tom Clancy." S'ym groaned. He heard a rumbling. "What in the worlds…" Illyana and S'ym watched Ace Starr ride by on a blue four-wheeled ATV.

"Gotta find the guys, gotta find the guys, gotta find the guys…" Wildstar chanted as he drove by.

"Huh." S'ym blinked. "Hey! That's Ace Starr! He's one of those West Coast Misfits! Not to mention he sings for that band…the Ballroom Blitzers I believe. Hey I wonder what he's doing here Mistress…Mistress? Hello?" S'ym gulped at what he saw: Illyana's blue eyes glazed, and hearts flew around her head.

"That mortal is so majestic…" She sighed longingly.

"Uh oh." S'ym groaned. "Something tells me that Paul's is not going to be the only Starr blood that Peter will go after." The purple demon sighed. "I think I'm going to be doing a _lot_ of drinking."

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(Backstage at the Malibu Fair)

_I gotta warn the Blitzers!_ Ali mentally screamed as she ran away. "Hey!" She exclaimed as she tripped on a wire. "Oof!"

"What was that?!" Zartan wondered. He, Zarana, Zandar, and Buzzer walked out and noticed Ali. "Hello. We got one of them Misfit kids. Dazzler, right?"

"I know what you guys are up to, and you won't get away with it! As soon as the Joes find out, you're busted!" Ali hollered as she got to her feet.

"Let's get her!" Zandar said. Ali clapped her hands, and the four Dreadnoks ended up blinded by a big flash of light that erupted from her hands. "MY EYES!!! SHE BROKE MY EYES!!!!"

"I can't see!" Zartan screamed.

"Where are you guys?!" Buzzer yelled.

"I knew I should've brought my glasses!" Zarana screamed. Ali took the opportunity and ran like heck toward the dressing room she shared with the Blitzers. She ran in and closed the door, panting.

"Dazz, what's up?!" Mandy asked.

"Guys, that Cold Slither band, they're the Dreadnoks!"

"You mean those mercenary biker guys?" Eddie wondered. "I heard about them."

"That's bad, right dudes?" Randy Chang asked the other Blitzers.

"Yes Randy, it's very bad." Micky groaned tiredly. "Airhead."

"Look, we've got to get out of here and warn the others." Ali said.

"Hold up, girl! I don't run from anyone!" Micky snapped. "I happen to have a green belt in karate, Dazzler! I'm not going to let a bunch of biker punks ruin a performance before it starts!"

"Micky, the Dreadnoks are not a regular biker gang. They are also trained ninjas." Ali replied.

"According to Ace, the Dreadnoks are a bunch of clumsy morons." Eddie raised an eyebrow.

"True the Dreadnoks usually screw up, but when they don't, it's not pretty." Ali sighed. "Is not pretty when they _do_ screw up either."

"Hey Zartan! She's in here! I got me chainsaw!" Ali's eyes widened as Buzzer's voice cam through the door.

"That's it!" Micky roared. "Let me at 'em!" Micky shoved Ali aside, and went outside. The sounds of Micky and the Dreadnoks arguing. Then came the sounds of the Dreadnoks screaming in pain. A couple minutes later, Micky walked back in, a smirk on her face, and dusting her hands off. "Problem solved." Ali looked outside and saw the eaten Dreadnoks.

"Wow." Ali blinked. Suddenly, a radio in the room started glowing electronic green. "What?" A black figure covered in electronic green glowing binary code seemed to leap out of the radio, and then it morphed into a certain teenage Dreadnok, with a futuristic backpack on his back. "Virus!" Before anyone could react, a cackling Virus threw what appeared to be several solid metal marbles at the gang. When they hit the floor, gas came out of them. Ali and the Blitzers coughed. Virus's Battle Pack (His backpack-like device) formed a gas mask to protect the cackling inventor.

"You're gonna get it now Toad. You're going to get exactly what you deserve." Virus cackled. He turned to a mirror and he saw Todd. "TOAD!!!" A laser popped out of his backpack and blasted the mirror. "Think you can beat me Toad huh? HUH?!" Virus yelled at the broken mirror. "I'll get you yet Toad! I'll get you and get back what's mine! You stole everything from me, and now I'm gonna get it back!"

Uh oh! Looks like Malibu is in trouble! Can Ali and the Blitzers wake up in time to do anything? Can the West Coast Misfits save the day? Will Virus ever get professional help? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	15. Hellions in Love and a Bus Theft!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Red Witch: Yeah, I think Virus may end up having more of those in the future, heh heh. BTW, read your new stuff and loved it! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!

To Metal Dragon1: I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home!"

To Wizard1: When does the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? I can hardly wait, man! I want to see more singing!

**Author's Note: To those who are reading, could you please review the last chapter as well? I'm not trying to be mean, I just like feedback on all my stuff. Thank you.**

It's Profile Time again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, as per Goofn1's request, everyone's favorite geokinetic, Avalanche!

Avalanche

Real Name: Lance Alvers

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (East Coast Team), formerly Brotherhood of Evil Mutants

Powers: Lance has geological-based powers. He can mentally create earthquakes, fissures, and even alter geographic layouts to a small degree. As a result of genetic damage done by Magneto, Lance is prone to attacks that cause uncontrollable earth-based phenomenon, seizures, and temporary amnesia. He also is prone to hallucinations, especially those of a coyote who has Pietro's voice and claims to be his spirit guide.

Bio: Not much is known about Lance's early life, but he has been shipped from foster home to foster home as a child, and suffered numerous forms of abuse. When his powers emerged, he joined Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants. He became a leader of a small group of misfit mutants, the amphibian-like Toad, the egomaniacal speedster Quicksilver, and the lumbering large Blob. He was driven crazy by the antics of Todd, Pietro, and Fred. Things got worse for him when Wanda, Pietro's twin sister and a hot-tempered hexcaster who would become known as the Scarlet Witch.

Lance tries to maintain an often-rocky relationship with X-Man Kitty Pryde, codenamed Shadowcat. It's not helped by the affections of his rival, Piotr "Peter" Rasputin, the former Acolyte and now-X-Man codenamed Colossus. His teammates often tease him about it, and Pietro has tried to set him up with new teammate Angelica Jones, codename Firestar.

After the battle at Asteroid M, Lance ended up becoming one of the Misfits, alongside Blob, Quicksilver, Toad, Wavedancer, Xi, Trinity, and the Scarlet Witch. As a Misfit, Lance found new purpose in life, and found new friends in teammates Starchild, Darkstar, Pyro, Lila Cheney, Red Dragon, Firestar, and a 'little sister' in the 12-year-old mutant Olivia Osnick, codename Spyder.

Recently, Lance has forayed into the world of rock stardom as the lead guitarist of the all-mutant glam-metal band, the Superstars. His bandmates are keyboardist/guitarist/vocalist Lila Cheney, bassist Craig Starr/Darkstar, rhythm guitarist/lead vocalist Paul Starr/Starchild, and drummer St. John Allerdyce/Pyro.

Chapter 15: Hellions in Love and a Bus Theft!

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(The Streets of Malibu)

Monet St. Croix and Sharon Smith, the Hellions known as M and Catseye, stalked down a Malibu street, shooting occasional glares at each other.

"You are _so_ lucky that Malibu's laws are rather lenient when it comes to minor brawls." Monet growled.

"And you are lucky that Catseye didn't kill you where you stood for trying to take Catseye's mate!" Sharon snarled.

"**Yours?!**" Monet snapped. "Ace is **mine!**"

"Since when?!" Catseye snapped back.

"Since always! There's a passion that flows between us." Monet replied.

"The only place where that happens is in **your** delusional ape-like mind! Ace and Catseye are both cats at heart, so we belong together!" Catseye exclaimed.

"Delusional!? You should talk! You think you're a cat!" Monet sniffed.

"Catseye **IS** a cat!"

"Hairball-spitter!"

"Egomaniac!"

"Fleabag!"

"Spoiled brat!" The two girls hissed at each other. They were ready to catfight when they saw Ace race by on a blue 4-wheeled ATV.

"Gotta find the guys…Gotta find the guys…Gotta find the guys…" Ace chanted like a mantra. Monet and Sharon blinked at that.

"ACE!!!" They squealed in delight.

"Taxi!" Monet called. A taxi pulled up.

"Where to, mac?"

"Follow that ATV with the sexy feral on it! If you lose him, I will pound you!" Monet ordered as she and Sharon jumped in. The taxi raced off. It sped by Rictor riding Jack as a horse.

"Whoa, man! You see that?!" Randy asked. Jack nodded. "Hi-O Beast King! Awaaaayyyyyy!!!" Jack turned and raced after the taxi and ATV.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Malibu Mall)

"What a great haul." Theresa grinned. She, Rahne, and Dial-Up left the mall, carrying several bags each.

"Aye. What a great visit." Rahne laughed.

"I always wanted this novel." Dial-Up smiled as she looked at a book. They saw Ace race towards them on his ATV.

"Guys! We got trouble! We got trouble!" Ace screamed. He crashed his ATV into a bath and body shop. "AAAGH!!!" Ace flew out and landed in front of the two mutants and Malibu Joe. "Oh, healing factor or no, I'm going to feel **that** one in the morning." Ace groaned as he got to his feet. "Hey guys."

"Guys!" Rictor rode up on Jack. The Mexican mutant jumped off, and Beast King changed back to his normal human form.

"Man, Rictor. You totally need to lay off on the double cheeseburgers for sure, dude." Jack grumbled, putting a hand on his back. The Mexican mutant grumbled something in Spanish under his breath, then turned to the girls.

"We saw Ace riding and decided to follow. What's going on here?"

"Dreadnoks in Malibu!" Ace replied. "They're posing as a rock band in the fair."

"Dazzler's there!" Rahne realized. "She's in trouble!"

"Not to mention the other Blitzers." Ace added.

"Well, how are we going to get there?" Dial-Up wondered.

"I am totally not carrying anybody else today!" Jack snapped. "I had a rough time holding up fat man over here!" Jack pointed at Randy with his thumb.

"Hey screw you!" Rictor snapped. "I'm not that heavy and I wasn't on your back for **that** long!"

"Guys, stop!" Rahne said, pushing them apart.

"No way an ATV can carry us all." Siryn sighed.

"The jeep we carried can…Oh no." Dial-Up groaned as she turned around. Ace had swiped the keys to a bus as part of a prize sweepstakes display. "Ace!"

"C'mon! _This_ will carry us all." Ace grinned as he leaned out the driver's seat. Siryn shrugged.

"The East Coast guys do this kind of thing all the time, so why not?" Theresa shrugged. She, Rahne, Rictor, Jack, and Dial-Up jumped in the bus, carrying their shopping. The taxi stopped near them.

"Wait! Acey! Take me with you baby!" Monet screamed as she and Sharon ran out.

"Screw her! Take Catseye! Take Catseye!" Sharon screamed. Ace didn't hear them because he was taking off.

"Hey, that lion kid stole that bus!" A mall cop yelled as he ran out. "Somebody call the police!"

Well, looks like the madness just keeps on coming! What insanity will happen next? Can the other West Coast Misfits be gathered up? Will Dazzler and the Blitzers be OK? Will Monet and Sharon stop going after Ace? How many screws are loose in Virus's mind? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	16. One Crazy Bus Ride!

Mad Malibu Summer!

To Goofn1: I'm glad you liked the Avalanche profile I put up. I thought you would. I hope you keep reading my stuff.

To Red Witch: Yeah, Virus has lost all his screws. Redoing your bedroom, huh? Well, here's some more insanity that should, hopefully, make things a little easier to bear for you. Enjoy!

To Wizard1: When are you going to put up the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party"? I can't wait!

To Metal Dragon1: Read the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" and loved it! I hope you put up the next one real soon! I can't wait for it! Especially the big Kid Razor/New Mutants team-up I hope will only be in a couple chapters!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we take another look at a little-seen Joe. The first Coast Guardsman in the Joe team, everyone meet Cutter!

Cutter

Real Name: Ronald "Skip" A. Stone

Rank: Lieutenant (Junior Grade)

Affiliation: Coast Guard

Primary Military Specialty: Hovercraft Captain, Aquatic Vehicle Driver

Secondary Military Specialty: Special Services (Former Women's Swimming Team Coach)

Birthplace: Kinsley, Kansas

Bio: Even though Cutter had always dreamed of a life at sea since a fishing trip to Florida at the age of 14, Cutter was literally born in the middle of the country! His hometown is exactly 1,561 miles away from both San Francisco and New York City.

If there's one character trait Cutter is known for, it's his tenacity. It took _two years_ of writing to a congressman in hopes of going to Annapolis before realizing his family lacked any influence and he went to the Coast Guard Academy. As a member of the Coast Guard, Cutter was one of the best ever at catching high seas drug smugglers.

Originally, he had no plans to join the Joes, but that changed when he learned there were no Coast Guardsmen in the Joe team. He complained and drove the Coast Guard's top brass about it so crazy that they pulled a lot of strings to get him on so he'd, according to one Joe: "just _SHUT UP_ about it!"

His iron will, tenacity, and contrary nature, as well as a strange sense of humor, often annoys his teammates, but are considered great assets on the battlefield. When on a mission, Cutter never quits until it is accomplished.

Note: Even though Cutter is a proud native of Kansas, he often wears a Boston Red Sox cap!

Chapter 16: One Crazy Bus Ride!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Malibu, California)

"Whoooooooooo!" Ace Starr pumped a fist in the air as Krokus's cover of the Sweet song "Ballroom Blitz" blared from the bus's radio. Ace never noticed that behind the bus was a flying aristocrat and a purple cheetah screaming to stop the car and let them in behind the bus he drove. "_And the man said 'Everyone Attack' and it turned into a Ballroom Blitz/And the girl in the corner said 'Boy, I oughta warn you', it'll turn into a Ballroom Blitz/Ballroom Blitz!!!!_" Ace sang happily.

"Ace, keep your eyes on the bloody road!" Siryn snapped. "Ye're gonna make us crash!"

"Sorry." Ace apologized. "Hey!" A couple thumps were heard on the bus's roof. "Who's up there?!"

"Whooooooo!" Monet screamed delightfully as she held on to the bus's roof. "This is great!"

"Yeah! Catseye loves this!" Sharon screamed.

"Get off! He's mine!" Monet snapped.

"He's too much man for **you**, St. Croix!" Sharon snapped back.

"You're nuts!"

"And you're a fool!"

"Hair-ball!"

"Witch!"

"Nutjob!"

"Brat!"

"Hey, quiet down up there!" Ace snapped, pounding on the roof.

"Who's up there?!" Dial-Up shouted.

"Um, guys?" Rahne pointed out the back window. She pointed at a bunch of cop cars following them.

"Oh great." Theresa groaned. "I feel like Burt Reynolds in 'Smokey and the Bandit'!"

"Now all we totally need is Jackie Gleason as Sheriff Buford T. Justice. That'd be awesome!" Jack quipped with a grin.

"Oh stop, man." Randy groaned.

"Hey, what's that?" Rahne pointed outside. The others looked over and saw Firestorm's vehicle, the Firerunner, leap out of nowhere. It appeared to be modified because it packed four **_HUGE_** monster truck tires.

"**_BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!_**" Firestorm cackled madly. It was obvious to anyone: both he and BR were hyped up on Twinkies, as evidenced by the empty boxes of the yellow snacks flying everywhere from the jeep. The Firerunner leapt out of nowhere, smashing into the cop cars like a wrestler body-slamming an opponent.

"Och, those poor officers!" Rahne said.

"I don't think anyone's hurt." Dial-Up blinked, as she saw the officers run out cursing and screaming at the cackling, sugar-mad Joe.

"I think Firestorm's going to get a Section Eight for that." Jack laughed.

"Hey! Whoever's up there, knock it off!" Rictor snapped, pounding at the roof. He sent a light vibration through the roof, not enough to damage the bus, but enough to lightly knock off anything up there.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The roof of the bus)

"Hey! Whoa!" Monet and Sharon yelled as the sonic wave nearly knocked them off the bus.

"Who's trying to knock us off here?!" Sharon screamed.

"Hey knock it off down there! I'm trying to get in here so I can be with my beloved Ace." Monet screamed.

"**WHAT?!?!**" Sharon screeched. The two Hellion girls started bickering. They dared not use their powers for fear of falling off the bus.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Back in the bus)

"Does any of you have any idea where the others are?!" Ace yelled. "We passed by the arcade, and I didn't see X, John, Longshot, Kyle, or Toshi anywhere! And does anybody know where Tommy or Terrell are?"

"I tried to call them, but I only got sounds of brawlin'." Theresa replied. "Saints preserve us all."  She sighed.

"WHAT THE--?" Ace swerved when he saw Beef fly out the window of a clothing store. He smashed into another car. Tommy marched out.

"You ain't so tough, you plonker!" Tommy snarled. Ace stopped the bus and peeked out the window.

"Tommy, get your fish butt in here now! Where's Terrell?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jetstream got smashed into a wall at incredible speed. Terrell zipped up.

"You sucka! No one can touch me in speed, pal!" Terrell snapped.

"C'mon!" Ace waved. "Get in the bus! We have a problem!" Tommy and Terrell immediately did so.

"What's up?" Tommy asked as he and Terrell got in.

"The Dreadnoks are in town!" Ace exclaimed. "We don't have a lot of time! We have to get to Dazzler and the Blitzers!" Ace hit the gas and the bus sped off. The sound of screeching tires was complimented by the screams of M and Catseye.

Well, looks like the madness just keeps on coming! What insanity will happen next? Can the West Coast Misfits save the day? Will they figure out Monet and Catseye are on the bus? Will Firestorm go to jail? Will Virus ever seek professional help? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	17. Arrival at the Fair!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Metal Dragon1: Yeah, Monet and Sharon are the least of their worries right now. I thought it'd be funny to watch a crazy Firestorm and BR attack police cars. BTW, I can't wait for the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home". I hope it comes up real soon!

To Sparky Genocide: The Dreadnoks end up liking music, huh? I'll see what I can do.

To Red Witch: Glad you liked it! Here's some more insanity for you! Also, I read your new chapters! Great! Have Jubilee chase around an imaginary Kid Razor! Enjoy! Oh yeah, and I found out about Daina's Joe codename.

To Goofn1: To be fair, Ace never drove a bus before. It's not like driving a Trinity-modified blue Ferrari. Ace is a good driver. Hey, how would you like to see Firestorm give Kitty driving lessons?

To Wizard1: Where are you, man!?!? I haven't gotten a review from you in a long time, man! And I've been waiting for the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party"!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we take a look at a Joe who is a feared for her temper as she is respected for her sniping skills, Vorona!

Vorona

Real Name: Daina L. Janack

Affiliation: Formerly October Guard, formerly Czech Special Forces

Rank: Lieutenant

Primary Military Specialty: Small Arms Specialist, Marksman

Secondary Military Specialty: Helicopter Pilot, Tactical Specialist

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of Vorona. Despite this, she has a long history as an enemy of sorts to GI Joe. She once served as the only female member, and the only Czechoslovakian, of the October Guard, the Warsaw Pact nations' response to GI Joe. In the Guard, she was known as Volga, and she fought both against and with the Joes as part of a three way battle against GI Joe, the Guard, and Cobra. Her teammates at the time were team leader Colonel Brekhov, Georgian heavy weapons expert Horrorshow, Soviet airman Stormavik, East German soldier Schrage, and a later addition known as Dragonsky who served as vehicle driver and flamethrower. After a couple years, Brekhov, Horrorshow, Schrage and Stormavik were replaced by naval officer Lt. Gorky and Sgt. Misha, a Soviet Special Forces trooper. However, the collapse of the Soviet Union spelt the end of the October Guard.

However, over the years, Vorona grew to respect the Joe team and think of them as equals. When her native Czechoslovakia broke up, Vorona became a citizen of the Czech Republic, and stayed there to work for the Special Forces of that country. She grew tired of the difficulties over there, and she moved to America, petitioning for membership in the Joe team. During the battle in Cobra La, Vorona was recruited to the Joe team.

Note: Daina is a fantastic sniper, and she's no slouch behind the steering stick, but her biggest weakness is that she has a bit of a temper. Vorona is the Czech word for "crow".

Chapter 17: Arrival at the Fair!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The bus)

"Ace, I can understand that driving a bus is different than driving a car and you're unfamiliar with a bus, and the fact we're in a rush, but can ye _please_ WATCH WHERE YE'RE DRIVING?!?!" Theresa Rourke screamed as the bus veered a corner.

"Sorry Shamrock-girl, I'm trying! This thing don't turn on a dime!" Ace exclaimed.

"WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Monet and Sharon screamed on the roof, trying to hang on.

"Hey look!" Rictor pointed outside. The Mexican mutant called attention to the fact that a lot of people were gathering on the beach.

"The Malibu Fair!" Dial-Up exclaimed. "We have to help now! We don't have time to locate the others."

"But we may need their help!" Rahne replied.

"Terry, it's all you, dudette." Jack looked over at the Irish girl. "What do we do?" The other mutants, except for Ace, looked at her. Theresa was silent for a minute or so, before sighing.

"We got no choice. Whatever the Dreadnoks are going to do, they'll wait until the fair is up and runnin'. We got no choice. Hopefully the others will come. Ace, stop at the fair!"

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(In a dressing room behind the big stage at the Malibu Fair)

"MMMMMMPH!!!" Ali screamed. She was tied and gagged alongside the Ballroom Blitzers.

"Well, that's that." Zarana smirked. She stood over the kids. "Thought you could play crimefighters, aye?"

"Let's get ready for our performance." Zartan snickered. "The crowds are gathering and they want to see some rock to start the show. Virus is ready to go." Ali hollered something, but the gag obscured most of it. "Don't worry, little Dazzler, we'll take good care of your fellow Misfits…after the crowd destroys them." Ali's eyes widened.

"Mmf?"

"I, using my incredible genius, something a blonde like you will never have, created a device that allows me to take control of people using subliminal soundwaves, as well as make these boy-band wannabes actually sound good." Virus smirked.

"Virus, boy bands suck. Just because you like Britney Spears, that don't bloody mean you can call our awesome heavy metal band a boy band." Zandar snapped.

"Shut up, Farrah!" Virus snapped at a giggling Ali. He raised his hand to slap her, but Zartan held his wrist.

"Go back to your padded cell and do your job." Zartan growled. The arrogant Virus gulped and ran off. "Fraidy cat. And Zandar, we're not a real band."

"I dunno, this rock star stuff. It's kinda fun." Zarana grinned. "We could be like Spinal Tap, a fake band that makes real music?"

"Finally, someone listens to me. Joy." Zandar smiled.

"Oh yeah, 'This is the Dreadnoks'. Yeah, _that'll_ be a big moment in rock." Zartan rolled his eyes.

"I'm all for it." Buzzer grinned, holding up his drumsticks.

"We are **not** going to play Spinal Tap II here, you knuckleheads!" Zartan snapped.

"You are no fun, brother." Zarana pouted.

"Ugh." Zartan groaned. "The things I do for money." He looked over at the snickering gagged kids. "Thanks a lot, now the kids are laughing at me. By the way, has anyone seen Zanya? She disappeared when she found out the Misfits were going to Hawaii…never mind. I know what she was after."

Uh oh! Looks like the Dreadnoks may win? What madness will happen next? Where are the other West Coast Misfits? Can they save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	18. What a Hypnotic Performance!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Goofn1: Well, to be fair, Ace has no clue the girls are up on the bus roof, and he's never driven a bus before. Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To Red Witch: Read the new chapters and loved 'em! A Spinal Tap moment involving the Dreadnoks? That sounds funny! I'll see what I can do! Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To Wizard1: You forgot to review Chapter 15, man. I suppose Zartan wouldn't mind if money was involved. (Zartan: Hey he's right! I can put my kid through college!) Ali will get her revenge on Virus, don't worry about it, man. I'm glad you liked all the insanity! Here's some more madness for you. Enjoy! BTW, when does the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party' come up?! I can't wait!

To Descendant: Thanks for letting me use your concepts, man. I'll try my best to keep true, but I just now need a plot for the story, heh heh.

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we look at a Cobra who knows how to take what he wants from your mind, Crystal Ball!

Crystal Ball

Real Name: Unknown

Allegiance: Cobra

Function: Cobra Hypnotist and Interrogation

Bio: Crystal Ball is of Romanian-American descent. His father was a Romanian who was believed to have "second sight", and his mother was a native of Bangor, Maine. Crystal Ball was the seventh son of a seventh son, which in gypsy belief, would give him supernatural powers. Not much is known about Crystal Ball until he joined Cobra. He uses parlor tricks and various hypnotic techniques to get information out of enemies. It's also believed he may have some kind of mutant telepathic power.

Chapter 18: What a Hypnotic Performance!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(In front of the stage at the Malibu Fair)

A lot of people gathered at the stage of the Malibu Fair. They cheered and chanted.

"We want rock! We want rock! We want rock! We want rock! We want rock! We want rock!" The people chanted. Among them were a certain French red-head and a certain blonde Atlantic City native.

"Oh boy, oh boy! The Ballroom Blitzers!" Tarot squealed. "This is so fantastic!"

"I saw 'em live at the Starlight." Roulette sighed longingly. "Ace was so great." The two Hellions heard arguing and grumbling backstage.

"Thanks a lot, Zartan! You had to get us lost!" Zandar snapped.

"I forgot the bloody way, okay?!" Zartan snapped back.

"You'd better hope the fans haven't started rioting yet, brother!" Zarana snapped back.

"Since when did you care about that?!" Zartan exclaimed.

"I'm telling ya, Zartan, we could make a lot of money doing this Spinal Tap stuff." Zandar blinked.

"Can we go get drunk after this?" Buzzer asked.

"SHUT UP BUZZER!!!" The siblings snapped.

"Hey, I was only asking!" Buzzer snapped.

"Hey look, the drum kit! We're here!" Zandar grinned. 

"Yes!" Zarana whooped. "Finally!" A man ran out on stage.

"Okay, one of the first acts we have out here tonight is Cold Slither, a band from the East Coast." The man said.

"Screw them! I want Ace!" Roulette yelled. "Bring him out!"

"Um…" The man pulled on his collar nervously. "Uh…"

"Where's Virus?" Zartan whispered as Cold Slither stood ready for their entrance. "If that little snot doesn't show his face in the next 30 seconds, I'm going to…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(In front of an Internet cafe)

"Yeah, Dr. Rosenberg." Virus put a hand on the shoulder of a fellow in his late 50s, with graying dark hair and a rubbery face. "I know what it's like having the love of my life stolen from me by a monster. That Toad just swooped down like a bat from the darkest, deepest, and most fiery of Hades' pits and stole my Althea from me!" Virus's eyes glowed green. "For years, I've tried everything I could to get my revenge. When I heard Toad joined GI Joe, I joined the Dreadnoks, hoping to free her one day. Every day, I wake up and pray that there's still some of that beautiful soul I met so long ago wasn't completely wiped away by that amphibious madman." Virus sighed as he looked at his watch. "Aw bloody no! I gotta go! I got a world to conquer!" Virus leapt in Dr. Rosenberg's computer and disappeared. The aging doctor blinked.

_Man, that kid's a weirdo. Not to mention he appears to be mildly psychotic._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Backstage at the Malibu Fair)

"…Kill the little arrogant nerd!" Zartan snapped.

"Hey Zartan! Look!" Zarana pointed at the soundboard. A human-shaped black shadow covered in electronic green binary code leapt out of the soundboard, then changed into Virus.

"About time, Virus." Zartan snarled.

"I'm bloody here, okay?" Virus snapped. "Just get out there and fake sing!"

_I have to remember to gut the arrogance out of that jerk when we get back to the compound._ Zandar scowled. The Dreadnoks valued Virus greatly, and the arrogant little psycho knew it. Thanks to him, they got a big technological boost, and the English mutant was fond of lording it over them. As a result, the other Dreadnoks despised Virus.

"Okay folks!" They heard the crowd scream from outside as the host introduced them. "Ladies and gentlemen, Cold Slither!" The fake band started playing a bad cover of AC/DC's "Back in Black" **(A/N: I know, Cold Slither had their own song, but I can't find the freaking lyrics for it!)**, but Virus's device made them sound pretty good.

"These guys are alright, but they are no Ballroom Blitzers." Roulette sniffed. She and Tarot booed.

"Boo! Bring out Ace!" Tarot screamed. "You stink!"

"You guys suck!" Roulette screamed. "Play some real music or bring out the Blitzers!"

"Now to activate the hypnosis…" Virus muttered. He pressed a combination of buttons and the machine started making the speakers fire off hypnotic waves that overtook the kids in attendance. At that moment, the bus Ace drove parked nearby.

"Let's go!" Theresa ordered. Ace, Terrell, Tommy, Rahne, Randy, Jack, and Dial-Up raced out alongside the Irish screamer. Virus smirked as he saw the whole thing, thanks to a camera he secretly put on stage. He pressed a button on the soundboard, and a microphone appeared.

"Destroy the West Coast Misfits." Virus smirked as he ordered.

"Look!" Ace pointed at the crowd. They turned towards the mutant heroes and the Joe, eyes glowing red.

"Uh-oh." Tommy gulped. Rahne shifted into her werewolf form.

"I think we're in big trouble." Tommy gulped. Behind the mutants, Monet and Shron slid off the bus roof and landed with an "Oof!"

Looks like things are not going to get any better for our heroes! What insanity will happen next? Can they safely subdue the crowd and stop the Dreadnoks? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	19. One Wacky Battle!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Sparky Genocide: Glad you liked the whole Dreadnoks getting into the band thing. I thought it'd be a funny idea for some Zartan torture.

To Red Witch: Read the new chapters of "Sleepover of Doom" and loved them! Kid Razor is laughing is head off at Jubilee as a Sailor Scout. Here's some more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To Metal Dragon1: The whole thing with the girls is _just_ for comedic value, like allowing Logan to get drunk in a couple chapters of "Take the Long Way Home". Technically, Logan's healing factor prevents him from preventing intoxicated. What makes you say that Ace likes X? Anyway, here's the new chapter! I hope you can get a new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" up before your trip!

To Wizard1: Yes, it will be interesting. Yeah, I can imagine Dr. Rosenburg and Virus having something in common. I think a lot of my reviews are getting eaten. When does the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? I want to read it!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we look at a Cobra who likes to start things off with a BANG, Metal Head!

Metal Head

Real Name: Stuart A. Finlay

Function: Anti-tank Specialist, Hockey Fight Analyst

Birthplace: Annapolis, Maryland

Bio: Metal Head is a walking, talking, breathing tank-breaker. Not much is known about his early life before joining Cobra.

His primary weapon is a missile-launching backpack complete with hip-mounted swiveling holster tubes. The blast suit he wears includes a built-in laser-guided targeting computer. It's linked with his range-finder goggles and has a voice activation feature. The code word is "Bang". The system is devastatingly accurate. He's also a suspected member of the secretive martial arts clan known as Susu-Gar. No one is sure if his machinery has been modified by the mutant Dreadnok known as Virus.

Metal Head is obsessed with battle, always ready and thinking of little else. The joy he displays in combat often causes both ally and enemy alike to question his sanity. He acts more like a Dreadnok than a Cobra member. As a result, he is known to hang out with the Dreadnoks a lot.

In his spare time, Metal Head is a skier. He skis with the jet set in New Hampshire, where he's regarded as a world-class jerk, known for shooting at chair lifts and cutting off other skiers for a start.

Chapter 19: Another Wacky Battle!

- - - - - - - - - -

(The beach of Malibu)

"Okay West Coast Misfits, be careful. We don't want to hurt anybody." Siryn said simply. The hypnotized teenagers advanced towards the heroes.

"No problem, yo!" Terrell called upon his aerokinetic powers to create a gust of wind to blow them down.

"Lightning Card!" A French-accented voice called. A blast of lightning knocked back the speedster.

"Uh oh…" Tommy saw Tarot standing near them, holding one of her cards in the air.

"Marie, it's me!" Ace waved his arms. "Tarot, it's me!"

"Rope Card!"

"Agh!" Ace got tied up with rope that suddenly appeared around him.

"What?! That makes no sense!" Jack exclaimed. "Doesn't Tarot turn harmless around Ace?"

"Yeah…" Rictor reasoned. "Tarot would **never** attack Ace…at least, not _willingly_."

"She must be under some kind of mental control!" Siryn realized. "That was the plan all along! Oh, why did I not see it?!"

"Um, kids…Roulette also appears at have been victimized." Dial-Up said. Jenny Stavros also faced the kids, black hex spheres in her hands.

"Uh oh…the black ones are bad luck!" Ace warned as he used his strength and claw lasers to break himself free. "If they even _glance_ you, they can cause bad luck. The black cat effect, it's called. Roulette knows about that, so she doesn't need to worry about _perfectly_ hitting her target, as long as it glances close enough."

"So, we have to find a way to disable those two Hellions." Rahne reasoned.

"Ooh, my head." Terrell moaned as he got up. "That's the second time I got knocked on my butt."

"Okay guys…get ready…" Theresa said. The West Coast Misfits tensed. They heard a couple vehicles screech to a stop. "What?" She saw pies hit the two Hellions. "What the--?" Siryn noticed General Whithalf and Jester run up to the kids, pies in hand. They also noticed a pie truck.

"Hang on Siryn! We got pies! YO JOE!!!" Whithalf cackled madly as he pelted some kids with pies.

"Man, I love being a Joe!" Jester laughed.

- - - - - - - - - - -

(Malibu Base)

"Stupid razzum frazzum…" Hardcase growled as he tried to start his jeep. "Of all the stupid…grrrrrrr…JESTER!!!!!"

- - - - - - - - - - -

(Back at the beach)

"YO JOE!!!" Footloose, Mayday, and Fusebox drove in, using jeeps specially modified with self-loading pie-throwing catapults. **(A/N: C'mon people, these are the Joes we're talking about here!)**

"Footloose! Mayday! Fusebox! What's all this?!" Tommy asked.

"Jester's plan." Mayday laughed. "A non-lethal and funny way to take opponents down."

"What surprises me was that Ol' Whithalf **approved** it. But then again, this **is** General Whithalf we're talking about." Fusebox rolled his eyes. He took off his yellow hard hat and wiped some sweat off his brow. _Man, I'm **still** not used to this __California__ heat! I miss the ol' __Seattle__ weather. You never needed air conditioning up there. But then again, I don't have to worry about stocking up on umbrellas here, heh heh heh._

"Let's rock 'n' roll!" Ace howled happily. He saw the Dreadnoks on stage.

"Uh oh." The Dreadnoks blinked.

"Hey Dreadnoks! C'mere! I wanna talk to you guys!" Ace leapt like a jungle cat. He started bouncing on the victims' heads to get to the bikers, avoiding their reaching hands. "Whoa! Sorry! Excuse me! Pardon me! Hey! Watch those hands! Yipe! Excuse me! Whoa! Hey! Dude! Awesome! You like Halen?"

"_WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Theresa used a sonic wail to take down Roulette while Rahne and Tommy tried to engage Tarot. It wasn't easy because she was a talented fighter.

"Ow! How'd she bloody do that?!" Tommy snapped as Tarot nailed him with a kick to the face despite the fact he had gripped her in a bearhug from behind.

"I got her! POW!!!" Rictor nailed her with a sonic punch.

"And here's the icing on the cake!" Terrell made Tarot spin around and around very fast until she fell over. "About time I get a break today!"

"Uhh…what happened?" Monet and Sharon moaned as they got to their feet.

"And how are we supposed to deal with all this?" Zarana asked. "I'm no fool, Zartan! I know when I'm out-bloody-matched!"

"Not yet." Virus grinned maliciously. He pressed a button on the soundboard.

Uh oh! Looks like the insanity isn't quite over yet! What madness will happen next? What other surprise has Virus hidden up his sleeve? Can the West Coast Misfits and Malibu Joes handle it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	20. The Crazy Day Ends At Last!

**Mad Malibu Summer!**

To Metal Dragon1: Yeah, technicalities. Gotta love 'em. I hope you can get one up after the tenth. I can't wait for that! Well, Ace has a talent for understanding women, so he was able to give X23 a name she ended up liking.

To Red Witch: I read the new chapters of "Sleepover of Doom" and I loved 'em. Uhm, Fox got pictures of Storm and he's trying to sell 'em. I'm trying to stop Evan from gutting him alive like a fish. I'm glad you liked the pie fight! Here's the new chapter for you! Enjoy the insanity!

To Wizard1: When's the next chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" coming up? I can't wait for the new chapter!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we look at a Cobra agent who's for the birds: Raptor!

Raptor

Real Name: Unknown

Function: Cobra Falconer

Birthplace: Unknown

Bio: At one time in his life, the Cobra agent known as Raptor was a yuppie accountant/tax consultant who worked in the money-crazed world of Wall Street. He also had a hobby of falconry.

Growing obsessed with it, Raptor tried to breed bigger, stronger, faster birds of prey, as well as equipped them with steel tips for their talons. Raptor used these birds to obtain very profitable prey.

Destro happened to catch Raptor while the falconer was poaching at a Cobra mink ranch. Rather than take the Cobra Commander route and have him executed, the cooler-headed **(A/N: No pun intended)** Destro saw how he could be useful and had him brought into the Cobra organization.

Now with Cobra's resources at his disposal, Raptor is at work breeding birds that are powerful enough to attack GI Joe and the Misfits of both east and west coast variety. It's rumored that Raptor may be using Mindbender's technology to genetically engineer super-birds.

Raptor is known for wearing a ridiculous-looking bird suit. He has no delusions about being human even if he does reside in a giant bird cage most of the time. He also occasionally aids Tomax and Xamot with tax issues **(A/N: Who can blame them? These tax laws are INSANE!!)**

Chapter 20: The Crazy Day Ends At Last!

- - - - - - - - - -

(The Malibu Fair)

"Heads up, Dreadnoks!" Ace leapt towards the fake rock band, firing his claw lasers.

"Whoa!" The Dreadnoks dodged, and the lasers hit Buzzer's drums.

"Me drum kit! I _loved_ that drum kit!" Buzzer screamed.

"Buzzer, you've only had it for **one day**! You're acting like you were married to it! Now get your chainsaw and give me a hand here!" Zartan snapped as he grappled with a snarling Ace.

"Well, I guess we can't worry about the whole Spinal Tap thing." Zarana sighed as she threw some shuriken at Mayday and Fusebox.

"Oh, shut up about that!" Zartan growled.

"Lucky thing I prepared backup." Virus whispered to himself maliciously.

"Hey, I hear rumbling!" Tommy yelled as he tried to safely take down a couple hypnotized kids.

"Uh oh…" Jester gulped. "I think we have a problem." The rumble increased in volume as the source came closer: A black Hummer with six wheels on steroids. The vehicle started as a Hummer with neon-green and blue highlights. However, after the front side doors, the vehicle became heavily armored and resembled a futuristic Winnebago. Vents jutted out to the sides of the vehicle. Four wheels were in this part of the vehicle. It had a pair of huge machine guns on top to the sides of a missile launcher.

"Behold…my personal transport!" Virus crowed. "The Mutator!"

"Man, he has lost it!" Zandar grumbled. Virus pressed a button on his belt and he disappeared! He appeared in a flash of light in the car's cab.

"Ha ha! Fire!" Virus cackled. The machine guns fired tracers and the missiles fired.

"That's psycho's going to hit someone!" Siryn screeched.

"Not today!" Ace fired his claw beams at the tries. No good. "Aw, you gotta be kidding!"

"The tires are made of a special plastic I invented, you savage." Virus crowed. "Now I shall destroy the West Coast Misfits, and then…Toad."

"Load the explosive pies!" Jester ordered.

"Look!" Mayday pointed at the Mutator's roof. A tan-and-yellow blur jumped on the roof, and revealed itself to be Athena in her uniform **(A/N: It's basically the tan-and-yellow uniform Wolverine wore through most of the 80s in the comics, only the costume allows her hair to flow out)**. The clone used her claws to punch into the roof.

"Oh no you don't!" Virus screamed. He stopped the Mutator, and he pressed a button. The vehicle rose as a quartet of legs like the ones on the AT-AT from Star Wars made their appearance. The vehicle walked and swayed, trying to get the feral clone off the roof. "Get off me car!"

"Your car is a pile of junk!" X23 roared.

"YO JOE!!!" Torpedo and Quick-Kick rolled in on tanks. Accompanying them was the California Cruiser, carrying the rest of the West Coast Misfits.

"Ha!" John Proudstar pitched his hatchet and it hit Virus's soundboard.

"No!" The Dreadnoks screamed as they saw it explode, freeing the teens.

"What?" They all blinked and chattered amongst themselves.

"Let's get out of here!" Virus screamed. He managed to throw Athena off, then under gunfire and a barrage of exploding pies, the Mutator's legs retracted, and the Dreadnoks used it to try and make their escape.

"And don't come back!" General Whithalf hollered. Dazzler and the Blitzers angrily stomped onto the stage. Dazzler glared at the Mutator and blasted its tires with a light laser, flattening it.

"OH NO!!!" Virus screamed. Ali stomped up to the modified vehicle, opened a cab door and jumped in. The transforming vehicle jumped up and down and rocked back and forth with Virus's screaming and the sounds of Ali beating the snot out of him.

"And **THAT'S** for calling me a dumb blonde!" Ali screamed as she stomped out.

"Never get on her bad side, Longshot." Kyle snickered. Longshot gulped.

- - - - - - - - - -

(The beach, an hour later)

The fair was back on, and the Dreadnoks were carted off to jail.

"Marie-Ange, Jenny, for the thousandth time, you're forgiven! It wasn't your fault!" Ace exclaimed from the Ballroom Blitzers' dressing room. "I have to go play now!" He ran to the stage, where the other Blitzers were waiting. Ace looked out at the cheering crowd of kids and Joes. "LET'S ROCK!!!" Ace proclaimed, grabbing his beloved blue Flying-V. The Ballroom Blitzers did some originals and jumped into a couple covers of old songs. A minute after, Ali sang a couple dance songs. The fair itself was success, despite the insanity that happened at the concert that kicked it off. Everyone had fun there. Some people decided to get on stage and do a little entertaining. General Whithalf jumped n stage and played a rockin' solo on a guitar. Jester did a comedy act which delighted the kids. The best joke was a story he told about Britney Spears and the Grand Theft Auto video games. Mayday amazed the audience by using X-Ray vision to predict what was in people's pockets. Quick-Kick and Kicker re-enacted famous movie scenes. Kyle and Toshiro set up a ring and had an exhibition wrestling match, which turned into a brawl when the two started arguing again.

"Man, we had a great time!" Longshot grinned as the gang returned to Malibu Base.

"Has anyone seen Firestorm? I haven't seen him since I saw him go mad with Twinkies and attack those police officers." Rahne asked.

"Two words: Section Eight." Kyle laughed.

_I am going to have one heck of a time as West Coast leader._ Theresa smiled.

Well, another fun Malibu adventure ends! What insanity will happen in the future? Who will the West Coast Misfits face next? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading!__


End file.
